comebacks, what do you say when....? Options

[likeachild]

four things:

what do you say when
somebody says to you

(what do you say not do!
I could punch them and knock them out but
I'm trying to limit physical action to a last resort....
you know what I'm saying?)

you're gay (and you're not)
you _______ (insert inappropriate noun here)
they question your manhood
you say.. I like ______ they say...I hate _____! ______ is so stupid!

[T00000]

i'm sorry, i can't help with these because i've never had the misfortune of being in these situations.

but uh, i know that some of these comebacks, if you said them to those people they'd laugh. let me give it a try:

you're gay (and you're not)
oh damn, how'd you know (Sarcastically- sarcasm is the greatest gift of all)

you _______ (insert inappropriate noun here)
just be like, yeah i know i'm a ______ (unless it's something degrading, just say that if it's something that means like a mean or nasty person)... if it's degrading just be like, excuse me? don't trip fool, look who's talking

they question your manhood
uhhh...? ask them why they're so interested.

you say.. I like ______ they say...I hate _____! ______ is so stupid!
just be like well that's your opinion man, ______ kicks ass.

i mean they can't really say anything back to that.... and if they do, they're just saying it to say something, you know you got em bad ;). just laugh at whatever they say after you said that.