When on a journey..., Inspired by "The Road not Taken" in 7th Grade. Options

[NoSex]

When on a journy
Moving through fresh new plains
One often comes across a path
Simple and easy, the path is taken with confidence, and clarity
The path is bright, new, and refreshing
You are happy
However one day, while traveling on the path
You come to a fork
The path branches off into two directions
At the fork starts a wooded area
As far as the eye can see, trees stand
The path becomes more narrow in its dividing
And one is struck with a choice
Despite the constant progression on the path, One can only gaze for an instant
One can see the turns before him
Yet the end of either path is unknown
Hidden deep within the forest
One path will ultimately be taken
And in this, the entrance to the woods will be lost
emancipated from choice
Regret quickly sits in
What is beyond the other?

[I was just looking through some really old writing I did. I don't really write anymore, aside from expository. But, since I had just recently been presented with really awful interpretations of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken," by an awful english teacher, I had to pull this up. Whatcha think? For 7th grade? Come on! ]

[NoSex]

I'll be nicer if you read some of my work

Alright. Heh heh heh.

good! I do like it---however the repetition of "one" throws me off. I just generally think its not a good idea to use it like that repeatedly. Substitute "You" more and it might strike more to the soul....But i'm not sure. You'd have to try it.

When I wrote it I think I was going more for a kind of lecture feel. I'de imagine a college professor speaking to his class. In fact, it's less poetic and more conversational.

But, you're probably right.