Choke |
 Feb 16 2006, 01:04 AM
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#1
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 I just "got it like that".  Group: Member Posts: 247 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,238  |
Choke me
Use both hands Pull me apart strand by strand Crush into pieces and bury into sand How am i supposed to know exactly who i am? I feel like shit....and.... there's nothing i can do about it. Don't love me. Why bother? While im drowning in shallow water? you broke me maybe all for the better my heart in a blender but wouldn't you know it?... i kept every one of your letters. and i feel like shit... but you dont know the half Im lonely but im not crying these arent tears i just have something in my eye two storys told One story ... lie. and i feel like shit... and you can never get enough I hate you. |
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| *wind&fire* |
Feb 17 2006, 07:38 AM
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#2
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its good but are you trying to rhyme? because your rhyming couplets are everywhere and dont conform...
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| *Blow_Don't_SUCK* |
Feb 25 2006, 01:04 AM
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#3
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QUOTE(wind&fire @ Feb 17 2006, 7:38 AM)  its good but are you trying to rhyme? because your rhyming couplets are everywhere and dont conform... I agree. Some of the rhyming kinda went off topic |
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Posts in this topic
razbus Choke Feb 16 2006, 01:04 AM
razbus QUOTE(wind&fire @ Feb 17 2006, 7:38 A... Feb 21 2006, 01:04 AM Paradox of Life I agree with wind&fire. The rhyming scheme is ... Feb 17 2006, 06:00 PM Bobblehead425 Hmm. Wow. I Love It.
Very Drama-esque.
Strongly ... Feb 18 2006, 01:50 PM wind&fire oh so you werent rhyming? then its good... i was j... Feb 22 2006, 03:32 AM xxxSiERRAxxx Wow...that was beautiful!
Well, I was gonna c... Feb 24 2006, 05:02 PM
razbus QUOTE(xxxSiERRAxxx @ Feb 24 2006, 5:02 PM... Feb 24 2006, 10:40 PM oX_Muh_Nirvana_Xo wo0ow it seems like your about to kill your self o... Feb 24 2006, 05:04 PM ranniel i like it sometimes i feel like that. Feb 24 2006, 07:21 PM xxxSiERRAxxx Haha...I was just so happy when I saw that poem...... Feb 25 2006, 12:11 AM iNyCxShoRT For some reason, this poem seems like a rap to me.... Feb 25 2006, 01:10 AM |
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