Last of my kind |
 Feb 21 2006, 02:23 AM
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#1
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 I just "got it like that".  Group: Member Posts: 247 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,238  |
Im a wishful thinker with malignant intent
tears spread on your pillow just to fill with regret the words shot like a rocket, not exactly what i meant two hearts left out of pocket in the awkward silence Those damn butterflies (wont stop fluttering in my heart) They just won't let the words come out right (and its not my fault) can we just start over? Hopeless romantic, Im the last of my kind unfortunately in love with every girl that i find I want to know you, i want to take my time. (all lies) I want to know you spirit, body, and mind. (all night) |
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| *Blow_Don't_SUCK* |
Feb 21 2006, 02:41 AM
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#2
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That's really good, but the first line of the first stanza was out of place. It should be put somewhere else. However, the message is clear and the whole poem is fluent. Nice job.
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Feb 25 2006, 12:25 AM
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#3
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 "lal! laugh a little!" Group: Member Posts: 192 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 364,863 |
QUOTE(Blow_Don't_SUCK @ Feb 20 2006, 11:41 PM)  That's really good, but the first line of the first stanza was out of place. I agree, I didn't completely get the 1st stanza...it would have been a good second stanza...I suggest writing another stanza to go in front of it. |
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Posts in this topic
razbus Last of my kind Feb 21 2006, 02:23 AM
iNyCxShoRT You write magnificent poems, you know that? Just w... Feb 25 2006, 01:07 AM
razbus QUOTE(iNyCxShoRT @ Feb 25 2006, 1:07 AM) ... Feb 25 2006, 03:35 AM ranniel Sounds good.. as USUAL. great job! Mar 1 2006, 08:09 PM |
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