Meaning of life Options

[*mipadi*]

Lately I've felt myself in a nihilistic quandary, a Nietzchean void of chaos and uncertainty, if you will. I feel like this insecurity is due to the fact that my life seems almost complete devoid of meaning. I wake up most mornings around 7 AM. I take a shower. I have a cup of yogurt or a bow of Cracklin' Oat Bran for breakfast. I go to class at 8 AM. I have calculus most mornings, except Thursday, which is a comp sci lab. I diligently take notes in calculus. I come back to my room by 9 AM. I dally around on the computer for a while. Then I go to more class. Then I come back and waste more time on the computer, or napping. I go to my final class. Then I go to work, where I hammer out a few dozen lines of code, fix some bugs, whatever. Go back to my room, mess around on the computer, not really producing anything worthwhile. Maybe I play a video game. Maybe I nap. Probably I nap. Maybe I study later in the evening. I might even eat somewhere in there. Then I scramble to finish up some homework, and head to bed for another day of the same.

And little of what I do during the day seems to have any meaning whatsoever. Everything I do seems to be an attempt to expend the least amount of effort possible, as though I am so completely sapped of energy that the slightest effort is impossible.

I feel like I used to spend much more time giving my life meaning. I used to write extensively, which forced me to really think about the world around me, and my experiences. I used to interact with people more regularly. I used to at least read and synthesize information.

This is disappointing, because I strongly feel in making each day worthwhile. I am a strong atheist. My atheism has led me to realize that it is important to make everyday count, because we only get one shot at life. Yet, I feel that I rarely make everyday count. I make very few days count, in fact.

But this post is not about me. The above anecdote was just a lead-in to the real question: Do you make each day count? Do you live so as to give your life meaning? If so, how? How do you feel that your life, or any person's life, can be given meaning? In short, what do you do to make living worthwhile, to use your mental and physical faculties in the most productive way? I'm not asking what the general meaning of life is; I don't intend for the usual answers. I'm interesting in seeing what you as an individual does to give your life meaning each day.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

Well everyday, is like a play for me. The main lead (which is me, in my life) wakes up to her well-waited mornings, greeting her family with much love, and simply doing what the script told her to do. Whereas, the audience, predicts the unexpected based on what they have seen and heard through and from the play.

My life is exactly like that. I act as if everyday is new, as if everyday is a beautiful day (either that or an annoying day). I do everything my script has put down for me and follow a road (full of surprises) and concludes to a predictable ending.

Honestly, I am very bored of life. I wish there were more to it than this "play" I live through. I try to make some action come up once in awhile, but everything ended up being the same.

When I feel sad or melancholic, I try my best to express it in order for me not to be so pent up like I used to be. I take the good with the bad and the bad with the good. Everything I do is written out for me by an anonymous playwright who seems to be amused by my unexcitement.

However, after befriending a person diagnosed with cancer, I felt that it's wrong to take my life for granted like this. This person, kind and unhealthy person, enjoys life despite its short length and she never feared death. I suddenly thought, "Why am I not enjoying this "play"... this life? When the audience seems to enjoy it so..." I was so confused, unaware of everything. Like I said, each day I live a boring life and yet I try to make an effort to make it worthwhile. After meeting that person, I learned that maybe you can enjoy life despite its boredom. You don't have to have everything or exciting things to make life be worthwhile. All you need to learn is that sometimes we just have to make the best of the "script" we are given, that we have to "act" our best despite all of this.

From then on, I never "tried" to make my day exciting or worthwhile. Instead, I cherish every moment of it, no matter how pointless and worthless it has become. Every smile, every frown, I take with me. I made a promise to my friend shortly after she passed away, that I'll remember and treasure every fleeting moment of the 365 days we are given every year. Life is short and always unpredictable. I cannot promise myself to make life "happy" but instead to be happy of what I can make of life.