Change is inevitable, right? Options

[me1issaaaa]

So, I really don't know who to talk to about this. I don't really want to tell my mom, because I don't want her to hate him and say, "I told you so". I don't know what to say to my best friend, because she's never been in this situation. ANd I can't talk to Drew, because... the problem is him and he just doesn't understand where I'm coming from. So I'm at the point to where I really don't care anymore, I'm so confused.


For the last year and three weeks, my boyfriend Drew and I have been happier than I could have ever imagined. Everything was just amazing in every way, and I thought we were both actually the perfect couple together.

Friday afternoon, he called like he always does, everything's fine, we're just a little tired because it's Friday. Then I don't hear from him until around 11 that night. He calls, I answer the phone, and he says "We need to talk". And you know it's not good after that.

He said he wants space. The thing is... he's 700 miles away. (How much more space does a person need?) He says he wants to hang out with his friends until 4 in the morning like he used to before his accident Backtrack: in October, he was in an accident and was hospitalized. Ever since then, though he's completely recovered, he hasn't been the same person; It's like he's not as attentive, he doesn't show the same emotions, he had been lying to me about stupid things. All of that.

We were just so happy that I guess we figured that we would be together forever. I mean, as stupid as it sounds, we really did think it would turn out that way. But now he doesn't want to talk about our future, our marriage, the fact that we're engaged now, our children we had hoped to have, any of it. He says he doesn't want to think about the future because he can't guarentee that any of it will happen. I understand where he's coming from, but I'm the type of person who wants to talk about those things because God knows I would drop everything and marry that boy tomorrow. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and it kills me to know that he has the slightest bit of doubt about it all.

After I had been crying all that night and most of the day after, he called around 3 that afternoon and wanted to say that he didn't mean it the way he said it. He doesn't want to break up, but he doesn't want to have the responsibility to call every single night. I understand that he doesn't have to, but why wouldn't he want to?

I suppose I pretty much shot myself in the foot for this one. I've basically rearranged my entire life to fit around his schedule because all I want to do is talk to him, and I don't really think that's healthy.




So... do you think I brought this upon myself? Any advice?


I have never felt so utterly confused. A little embracement or something would help. I hope someone understands what I'm trying to say.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

I dont think you brought this upon yourself, but you said so yourself, your changed your whole word to revolve around him. Maybe he was feeling a bit suffocated. I could very,very well understand your very,very upset. I see you posting about him all the time, and I cant just tell you two are in deeeeep love.

Maybe since his accident, He's been thinking about life. Realizing that his time is short, and he needs to experience everything. Meet new people, do new things. But that doesnt mean he wants you out of the picture. Its really good you understand where hes coming from. Dont beat yourself up over this, its not good. Let him have his space, and when he comes around, he knows you'll always be there to support him through whatever and whenever. (:

[anniepiee]

I dont think you brought this upon yourself, but you said so yourself, your changed your whole word to revolve around him. Maybe he was feeling a bit suffocated. I could very,very well understand your very,very upset. I see you posting about him all the time, and I cant just tell you two are in deeeeep love.

Maybe since his accident, He's been thinking about life. Realizing that his time is short, and he needs to experience everything. Meet new people, do new things. But that doesnt mean he wants you out of the picture. Its really good you understand where hes coming from. Dont beat yourself up over this, its not good. Let him have his space, and when he comes around, he knows you'll always be there to support him through whatever and whenever. (:

exactly what i had in mind.
even though he's 700 miles away, he is probably stressed about how he has to call you every night, therefore he cant relax when he's with his friends out late.

i'm kinda going through the same thing, i expect him to call every night, be there to talk to me whenever. slowly i've realized that i'm suffocating him, and it seems like he doesnt appreciate me as much anymore, but it's all in my head. I know he loves me a lot. I'm sure ur boyfriend loves you a lot too.
give him some space, and i hope you guys will work out perfectly