Worst two weeks.. Options

[mouse_3k]

Last last week:
My boyfriend went to his friend's funeral on saturday morning. We had plans to go out and do somethin after for about a week. He calls me up after the funeral tellin me he doesnt feel like doing anything or talking to anyone. So I told him ok and left him alone, givin him his space. He starts yellin at me tellin me Im suppose to be there for him and I wasnt. I thought he was telling me to give him his time so I did..and I get yelled for it..ok..

Last week:
I saw this girl I REALLY hated on my bf's myspace and he knew I hate her and he still added her as a friend. So I went to his myspace, logged onto his name, and deleted her. He starts yelling at me cause he told me not to go onto his myspace and I still did anyways. I told him the truth that I did go onto his myspace and deleted her I could have easily lied. I get yelled at for that too.

4 days ago:
My bf and I hung out then he left to go hang out with his cousins. I asked him if I could go watch John (My first love/ex) and Chung (my friend) play basketball cause I havent seen them in about 2 years. Well, thats what U though John asked me to do. So I asked my bf is I could. He said yes. Me and john met up at a place and talked for a little. I was still unsure on why he broke up with me and all so I had many questions. Soon john says "Lets go" and I thought he was going to take me to go watch him and chung play basketball. I didnt know the area so john told me to go follow him in the car so I did. Did i mention that I didnt even met up with chung? John took me to this lake with a Gazebo or a dock or whateva. I was just like Wheres chung? wheres the basketball court? very confused. But we sit at the Gazebo and talked. I asked him all the questions that I had and I found out that he still liked me. I had a good chance to cheat on my boyfriend but I didnt, even though I was with my first love. I had enough power to say no. We stayed there and talked from 10pm to 1am. When john tried to touch me, I wanted to leave so I did.
NE wayz, I admit it was my fault how I stayed there for that long but my boyfriend keeps bringing stuff back from the past and adding more stress and guilt to me. With me, I can get ova things quickly, i dont understand how he cant..

DId I mention that my boyfriend when hes mad, he always say the most hurtful things and basically kick me when Im down?
"I love you but your the one that hurt me" is the most memoriable
"Honestly, You deserve alot more then this" when I told him I deserved everything for what I did even though I didnt do anything
"You dont trust me, you dont respect me, what more is there to say?" ....

Theres more but I cant think of anything. He tells me when he makes me sad, he tries everything to make me happy. and I mad him sad so how do I make him happy is what he asked. So I asked him "Tell me how i can make you happy and ill do it" and he just shrugged..

idk, We aint gon break up obviously but I just want to make him happy and get the happy relationship back on track..
Advice?


(Apologizes for being so long)

[Chii]

relationships are not supposed to be so hurtful. when someone is mad at you, sure you go out of your way to fix it but you're not supposed to do everything in your power everytime they're mad.

sometimes you just have to realize that enough is enough. i took the blame for everything with my ex because he always convinced me that it was my fault. once he read all my old AIM conversations i saved in my e-mail with a guy i used to date. i don't even use that e-mail anymore. i know for sure that i made him promise not to read them when i gave him my main password but he did anyway. and he somehow made me take all the blame.
he would ask me questions about guys in my past and what i did with them. he would always throw that in my face, "you did that with them, why not me?" "you let so and so touch you, why not me?"
sometimes when our fights made me cry, he'd walk away and/or ignore me.

enough about me though. first off, try to make him understand that you misunderstood. sometimes when people are in mourning, they'd rather be by themselves and you wanted to respect that. it's not your fault that you didn't know he wanted you to be there for him. you're not a mind reader.

i'm not saying that you should break up with him right now but you have to have standards for yourself. relationships are always hard and everyone fights. in a fight, it has to do with both of the people. it's not ultimately one person's fault. both people have to resolve it together, one person isn't supposed to do everything possible to cheer the other up. relationships aren't a one way street...