dear diary . Options

[akjsd]

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[illumineering]

As a cancer survivor, I'll offer my insight into your situation. Please remember you can agree with all of it, some of it or none of it.

Although your dad's behavior and absence has been difficult for you, he's in a different place today. Being diagnosed does extraordinary things to people. Some say f*** it and go off the deep end and others try to make amends for things they have done.

It seems like your dad might be making the best attempt he can to own up to his actions. If the cancer is in a later stage, there is a stronger sense of urgency to get things in order, say goodbye and come to terms with life. Not only does he have to deal with his own emotions, he's definately seeing the consequences of his actions that he avoided in the past.

While he is alive, it's easier to talk to him and tell him how you feel about things. He'll probably wanting to do the same as well. Although this is extremely hard to do, it is an important step to consider because you can't do it if he dies. I completely understand that I know absolutely nothing about your situation. I'm suggesting it because I didn't do it when my grandfather died. When I was diagnosed it was extremely helpful to me to do this. Now that my dad may also be diagnosed, although difficult, talking to him has helped me to find a sense of peace that I never had.

I hope you will thoroughly weigh the value of reconciliation with your father. In my opinion, the most important factor to consider how you will feel about your decision 10, 20, 30 years from today. May you find peace as you begin this difficult stage of life. My heart goes out to you.