boyfriend advice Options

[LuvsDogs387]

Ok so I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss. When I talk with my friends and before I go to sleep at night I feel like I want a boyfriend. Someone of the opposite sex to be my friend and spend personal time with. I've had 3 opportunities to have a boyfriend and turned them all away because I'm scared. All 3 of them want to be this close *crosses fingers* right away. I'm the kind of person who needs to take time before I get close to someone. It took me about 2 years of pre-friendship before me and my now best friend actually became best friends. I'm just that kind of person where it takes a long time to earn my trust and just as long for me to actually want to hang out with you.

Right now one of my friends is trying to set me up with a guy. We all went on a double date to the movies and he seems really nice and we have a little in common. But that very night after I went home he started text messaging me and days after that too. I felt like I was being suffocated. I NEED my personal space. He’s nice and all but he's got a lot of problems, he's living with his friend (parents kicked him out), and he smokes cigarettes. I've got my own problems I don't know if I'm mentally strong enough right now to help someone else. Although I'm sure he'd help me with my own.

I'm also very shy; I'd feel embarrassed telling my mom I have a boyfriend. It’s because I've never had one and even though she’s pushed me to try and have a relationship for some reason I'd still feel embarrassed. Plus right now I don’t feel like dedicating a lot of my time to someone else. I’ve got my own problems here at home that I need to sort out; I don’t know if adding someone else to the mix is a good idea.

So my question is should I take a chance and try to see him again or wait until I know I'm ready. Am I being to cautious or am I just being smart knowing that I'm not ready for a relationship?

I really need some help; this has been driving me crazy.

[seremela_culnamo]

I agree with what everyone have said so far (or at least from what I skimmed through on other people's responses): don't rush into things if you're not ready.

I know how you feel in some ways. But in my life..it's more like..I really really like my crush right now. Last year, ever since summer till December, four guys have asked me out and/or liked me. But I turned down the two during the summer since I didn't want to get the wrong idea or anything, since I don't want to be hurt or whatever in the end. Then during the school year, I turned down two guys (surprisingly they both are first year university students. one graudated from my school, the other from another) because of my crush. As well, partially due to the fact that I don't want to lead them on, too. So in other words, I think you should tell the guy that you just need some space and it takes you awhile to trust or whatever towards people. Rather than forcing yourself to go out with him. By telling him, you can also get to know him better. I'm pretty sure if you refuse or anything, he will still be friends with you if he truly is a nice guy. & if he says he will wait and give you time, while letting you two to get to know one another better, I think he will be worth it in the end.

I hope you get what I'm trying to say. I'm comfortable around my crush, but at the same time, I get nervous and really shy..even when talking about him with my friends and all. Sometimes I think I'm not ready, but I am. I have never had a boyfriend before, but there was one guy, but we never did anything and yea. Nothing happened and then I found out who he really was and I ended the "relationship" with him before we did anything. Sad, eh? O-well. I'm just focusing on my crush right now because to me, he's really special and unique.