Irresistible Impulse, poem about someone with OCD Options

[*NatiMarie*]

Irresistible Impulse
by NatiMarie

I think it may be too soon
to let this love I have for you
expand to reach the depths of the ocean’s salty waters.

I think it is starting to hurt me.
The struggle in finding ways for you
To reach your heart into mine and let it grasp it tight.

I think I’m going fanatical.
The way I repeat your name
in the exact same tone and pitch
that if I mess up I have to say your name
once more again.

I think I’m growing obsessive.
To write your name 100 times in a little
blue book the size of a post-it, in both cursive
and print, interchangeably.

I think I’ve gone too far into loving you.
To not care if you say hi to me and ignore me
that I start blaming myself of my stupidity.

I think I don’t love you.
The way I feel more hate for you when I can’t
get you to notice me.

I think I have to let my hands free of tension.
The way I grasp my hands so tight together when
I see you kissing somebody else that I start sweating
and hating you.

Maybe I should just stop thinking.
To let this craziness control my life isn’t
normal.

Maybe you’re just my obsession.
A part of me that I cannot let depart
from where I have placed you
in my soul and in my heart.


--This poem is based on someone who has OCD, sadly, in some circumstances can this disorder be controlled.

[*NatiMarie*]

Thanks for the comments. I wrote it because after I read a book called Kissing Doorknobs, it made me realize what the effects that disorder can have on people. Sometimes it's hard to resist some anger inside, but the person continues to pursue a certain thing although it hurts them. The book is really good. I highly recommend it.