message to anyone, version 16 Options

[Teesa]

You guys know the drill.

To everyone I know:

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!

<333 Teesa

[chocolateaficion...]

______,
I've been meaning to write and send you a "final goodbye" letter but I'm too afraid that once I write it, I will never stop writing more to you. I was even about to buy a Christmas present that I've been wanting to get you even before you broke up with me. I'd really like to stop caring about you the way I do and just care about you as a friend--or maybe even just as any other person at my school. Things don't work out that way, I know. When I see you at school, I can't help but have an urge to approach you.. give you a hug, a kiss, tell you I love you or tell you how much I miss you. I know those days are over, I've been told so many times that it's over.. that you're not coming back. I know that I want you but there's another part of me telling me that I don't want you, that you're not the one I should be with. You do the bad things that I don't want to find in a guy, like.. crack or weed or whatever it is that you do; and I still have no idea why I still interest in you.
Sometimes I think that the reasons I'm not over you are because I have so many unanswered questions and regrets. Why did you do this? Why did you have to avoid me? Why did you hug me the day after you broke up with me? How come it ended up this way? How come I didn't get to know you more? Why did I let you take things so fast?
The first time you broke up with me, I was hurt, destroyed.. dying. I cried so hard and it makes me cry now to think about it. And when we got back together the next day, I thought that maybe it strengthened our relationship.. but it only seemed to have no improvement, it may have even become worse.
The second time you broke up with me, I saw it I coming. All the signs you gave me, the way you were, the avoiding.. I knew you were going to and I just don't know why I wasn't prepared. When you hugged me the next day, I thought we'd get back together and put everything behind us.

But you didn't and I'm here wondering why. I think about you and how great you're doing with your crack, your games and everything else. I want my questions answered, I want to stop caring about you the way I do. I want you but I shouldn't. Why did it have to end up this way?

Ever since you broke up with me, you've changed in so many ways.

When I think about it now, it was all just summer love. Maybe not even summer love, but just a small flame. Whatever it was, it's not here anymore. Sometimes I sit around and think that maybe I still care because it may've been real love. But then again, real love lasts..

I miss you. I just hope you don't hurt yourself.

Love,
Teresa

I'm glad that this topic is here.. otherwise, I'd have nowhere to express myself. He'd think I'm so pathetic, I bet.