Currently Untitled, really short short story Options

[hi-C]

Does this even count as a short story? Hm. Alas, on with it.

It's similar in tone to a poem I wrote a few months ago, "you left your scent on my shirt."

I don't know what I'm going to call this one, I'm open to suggestions. I'm also open to any revisions you guys may have.

- - -

Close your eyes, you said, and reluctantly I obliged. I must’ve appeared nervous or tense because as your arms wrapped around my body, a hand slid up my back to my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. It sent shivers down my spine and I shifted around a little. You asked if I was cold and I said no.

Although my eyes were still closed, I could tell you lowered your face to mine. I felt light breathing on my nose and mouth. So close but yet so impossibly far.

I pursed my lips, waiting for the inevitable. You scolded me, putting a finger on my mouth, as if telling it to be quiet. I guess you heard it asking to be kissed.

Then that same chastising hand caressed my face and held my cheek. A well-placed finger tilted my face towards yours, at the same time, gently and ever so slightly parting my lips. Your lips and tongue grazed my own.

Such a tease, I murmured under my breath. Your lips once again came down on my own, with more pressure this time, but still so delicately. I felt them smile and say I know.

- - -

(1/25/06 addition):

I let an eye drift open. A little boy of about eight stared up at us, intruding on the fantasy of our private world. A mysterious gleam in his eye, he debated between turning this not-too-discrete display of affection into an embarrassing situation and otherwise leaving us alone. A blast of screams and giggles from the children on the nearby jungle gym convinces him otherwise. He had better things to do than to bother us; his priorities were with his friends and the activity of play.

A tightening of arms around my body reminded me of my own priorities. With danger averted and my attention back to our own activities, I lost myself in the ecstasy of your kiss.

This post has been edited by Madame C: Jan 25 2006, 04:21 PM

[KissMe2408]

OOoooOO Carrie, nice!
Very romantic! lol. I think you are a pretty good writer! I never knew that about you. You should put a title to it.
<3