Currently Untitled, really short short story |
 Dec 1 2005, 04:19 PM
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 Amberific.  Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,913 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,772  |
Does this even count as a short story? Hm. Alas, on with it.
It's similar in tone to a poem I wrote a few months ago, "you left your scent on my shirt." I don't know what I'm going to call this one, I'm open to suggestions. I'm also open to any revisions you guys may have. - - - Close your eyes, you said, and reluctantly I obliged. I must’ve appeared nervous or tense because as your arms wrapped around my body, a hand slid up my back to my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. It sent shivers down my spine and I shifted around a little. You asked if I was cold and I said no. Although my eyes were still closed, I could tell you lowered your face to mine. I felt light breathing on my nose and mouth. So close but yet so impossibly far. I pursed my lips, waiting for the inevitable. You scolded me, putting a finger on my mouth, as if telling it to be quiet. I guess you heard it asking to be kissed. Then that same chastising hand caressed my face and held my cheek. A well-placed finger tilted my face towards yours, at the same time, gently and ever so slightly parting my lips. Your lips and tongue grazed my own. Such a tease, I murmured under my breath. Your lips once again came down on my own, with more pressure this time, but still so delicately. I felt them smile and say I know. - - - (1/25/06 addition): I let an eye drift open. A little boy of about eight stared up at us, intruding on the fantasy of our private world. A mysterious gleam in his eye, he debated between turning this not-too-discrete display of affection into an embarrassing situation and otherwise leaving us alone. A blast of screams and giggles from the children on the nearby jungle gym convinces him otherwise. He had better things to do than to bother us; his priorities were with his friends and the activity of play. A tightening of arms around my body reminded me of my own priorities. With danger averted and my attention back to our own activities, I lost myself in the ecstasy of your kiss. This post has been edited by Madame C: Jan 25 2006, 04:21 PM |
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| *Programmer* |
Dec 4 2005, 05:01 PM
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wow...that's really wow....
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Dec 4 2005, 06:37 PM
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Amberific. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,913 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,772 |
QUOTE(Programmer @ Dec 4 2005, 5:01 PM) wow...that's really wow....  That means you like it, right? |
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Posts in this topic
Madame C Currently Untitled Dec 1 2005, 04:19 PM
mzkandi Oh, very nice, Carrie. Dec 1 2005, 04:42 PM StanleyThePanda I dont have any suggestions for a name
but I very ... Dec 1 2005, 04:51 PM mona lisa Ooh, very sensual. I feel as if the last sentence ... Dec 1 2005, 07:02 PM Madame C ^ You're so right, Mona. I fixed it. Thanks... Dec 1 2005, 07:06 PM mona lisa It was fine the way it was before as well, but I s... Dec 1 2005, 07:09 PM jooleeah Aw. Very sweet piece, Carrie. I like it a looot. Dec 1 2005, 09:17 PM yourfriendsteph Aww, this just gave me butterflies...I like the bu... Dec 4 2005, 04:02 PM
stephinika very nicely written carrie. i quite like the image... Dec 4 2005, 06:26 PM Just_Dream I also like the imagery. It sounds like a piece yo... Dec 6 2005, 01:32 AM KissMe2408 OOoooOO Carrie, nice!
Very romantic! lol. ... Dec 6 2005, 03:43 PM Madame C I've added a little more on to the end of it. ... Jan 25 2006, 04:22 PM
stephinika lovely carrie. i love your writing style, and its ... Jan 25 2006, 10:44 PM |
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