these are my confessions, do bi do bi do Options

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

Well, for all of you reading this...
I was planning to tell him, but he found out from someone and I don't know who told him. Now both him & his girlfriend (whom I'm friends with) aren't talking now.

- Edit -

Well, this story started back in June, but I'll try to sum it up quickly.

June - August
I came out gay. I started falling for one of my closest friends. He was the only one who supported me. I tried avoiding him in July & August because I thought the feelings would go away.

September
School started and he's in my homeroom so I just tried to deal with the fact he was back in my life on a daily routine. I played everything off as just a crush and it was stupid and it was going to go away. We were walking to practice one day and he was like, "yo did you know gay people scare me? Not you though, your cool." It meant a lot to me and it made me feel better because a lot of people was always starting sh*t with me and he always just made me feel better.

October
He invited me to a party, I said no because I was wimpy. I was talking to one of my friends and she told me that she thought I was falling in love with him. I play it off again thinking that it could never happen. I mean, he's my best friend.

November
Here's where the fun begins. We start hanging out more because I'm a loser who always tries to hang around him. My feelings start to escalate and I just like him more and more to the extent I have trouble being around him. Last night we were at the mall and someone invited him so I decided to leave. I felt like buying chapstick before I left so I went to a store like right next to the exit. I went in and waited in the long ass line and I was about to buy it when I see him at the window and he runs to the window. I literally drop everything I have (which was about a five dollar bill and some change) and I run out. He starts to chase me (and he just happens to be the track all star) so he runs after me and catches me in like two seconds. He's like hey whats up, and I just look at him and run out. I just felt so, well I don't know how I felt. Later last night, I texted him and say I needed to talk to him today (there was a crew dinner party). The party gets canceled, and restarted and my friend calls him to tell him to come over because its on again but he doesn't come. I wasn't sure if he was going to come in the first place, but I really don't know what to do at this point.

So basically what I'm asking is what should I do. My friends think I'm in love with him besides me knowing I'm not, I can't be. He's my best friend. I want to tell him, but I'm afraid that what I think he's going to do, he's not...if that makes any sense. Well, I'll explain if you don't get it. I picture him just being, oh thats cool and not making a big deal out of it, but what he said earlier (2nd to last line in September) is what makes me worry that he's going to freak out. I don't want to lose him as a friend because he's more than just a friend to me, but I can't just start talking to him like we used to because there are just so many emotions that swell up and all that crap.

[Chii]

you can't keep all your emotions bottled up like that...you're only going to hurt yourself and him because he doesn't really know what's going on, with you running away and stuff.

as hard as it is, you really need to talk about things with him, then things won't be as awkward anymore. he accepts you, and he's your best friend, he'll understand. when you get it off your chest, you'll feel different. maybe you won't appear to be as in love with him, maybe it really was just a crush but since you've avoided him for so long it blew out of proportion in your head.