rap pt. 4, and running and running... Options

[*Statistik*]

Yo this is 'My Space' so I guess I'll be decorative and 'Lay-You-Out'
I'm so exhausted MAN...it feels like my physical strength can't 'Wear Me Out'
But I still bang out to create the new generation like star trek
Industrial & Mechanical, I can just award my self as 'High-Tech'
I forget then regret, making my emotion recording the whole cassette
Me & Other MC's are all original, it's like comparing a blonde and a brunette
I don't a give a f**k if I come short, I can just consider you a threat
Nah I ain't worried too much, still transmitted back like telephone sets
Real Talk, I be telling the future, and I be erasing the past (GET IT GET IT?)
Keep this as a secret, it's a whole new BLAST!! (YEAHHHHHH)

[illumineering]

I've really got to give you props for continuing to post your raps even though they show gross errors in rhyme scheme, usage and continuity. When I first started reading your stuff, it pissed me off because it was so bad, but your persistence is truly admirable. I'm not sure you are writing to make a statement or are just putting whatever spontaneously comes to mind. Try a few read-throughs out loud as though you've never seen it before. It will help you to catch some of the more blatant errors and begin to develop a more personalized style/voice that isn't so reflective of other people and makes more obvious and clear points.

Good luck and keep up your efforts. If you've got the balls to put up w/ the critics here, you've got some thick skin and strong self-worth.

We all learned to tie our shoes, walk, use a fork and talk. These examples of things we learned through practice, practice, practice. Keep searching for that voice. As many people know, controversy in the music industry sells CD's. You are a master at creating a controversy every time you post. If you can translate that to a larger audience, who knows...??? Remember B-Rabbit?

The runner-up for the cb writing contest submitted an entry that is full of errors and still managed to come in second place. The people that are bashing you voted for someone whose writing is as "unpolished" and error filled. I wouldn't take any of this criticism to heart. Keep going!