now it is over, what to do.... Options

[V_TEK]

My girlfriend and I just broke up...
she said that her feeling for me is gone now and it's not the same..
I don't know, it hurts to think about me and her not being together. It hurts, u know? If she break up with me for school or activites then I would be happy for her. But She broke up with me for another guy. She like some othe guy more...


Do you guys know anything to do to get over this hurtful feeling. What could you do when you have a broken heart that will make you feel a little bit better?
Thanks for helping...

[verlorenrivets]

My girlfriend and I just broke up...
she said that her feeling for me is gone now and it's not the same..
I don't know, it hurts to think about me and her not being together.  It hurts, u know?  If she break up with me for school or activites then I would be happy for her.  But She broke up with me for another guy.  She like some othe guy more... 
Do you guys know anything to do to get over this hurtful feeling.  What could you do when you have a broken heart that will make you feel a little bit better? 
Thanks for helping...

Same thing happened to me. 1 and a half years of being better than a perfect boyfriend to her, and one day she decides to break up with me for some guy who really won't care about her as much. My best advice is to move on. What did you do before you went out with her? Do that. Go visit friends that you might have neglected due to the fact you were in a relationship.

Just don't drown out the pain though. It's a terrible feeling, but it's something that needs to be worked through. Pushing it away only makes it come back at bad times. If you confront the feeling, then you'll realize how much she is missing out on you and what you did for her. No matter what she says, the other guy isn't as good as you were (unless you used to verbally or physically abuse her and the other guy doesn't do that, then you're a jackass) to her.

Now is the point where I tell you that if you go any further down this line of thought, you'll end up a sexist, like me. Stop at that point. You're a good person, she's wrong for what she did to you. End. If you dive too far into that line of thought you end up hating girls for what they are, and I know you don't want to do that.

Now I'm off to save the world from THE EVILS OF DRUGS.

[*mipadi*]

If you confront the feeling, then you'll realize how much she is missing out on you and what you did for her. No matter what she says, the other guy isn't as good as you were (unless you used to verbally or physically abuse her and the other guy doesn't do that, then you're a jackass) to her.

Now is the point where I tell you that if you go any further down this line of thought, you'll end up a sexist, like me. Stop at that point. You're a good person, she's wrong for what she did to you. End. If you dive too far into that line of thought you end up hating girls for what they are, and I know you don't want to do that.

I absolutely despise this sentiment, this idea of "I'm such a wonderful person, and she's such trash for not seeing how perfect I am." I think if people continually think this, they get nowhere as a person; they don't grow. Sometimes you need to admit your shortcomings; but sometimes you need to just say that a relationship didn't work out because you weren't right for each other, not because the other person is just too blind to see how great you really are. I'm strongly of the opinion that if two people are right for each other, they will both see it and stay together. Likewise, if two people can't make it work out, it's probably for a reason. Couples suffer so many nasty breakups because one party can't admit that maybe, just maybe, the other one is right, and the relationship isn't going to work out; it's always, "Oh no, she just broke up with me because she can't see how good I am for her." Don't be so egotistical; although people occasionally err, more often than not, they do know who is right for them and who isn't.

[verlorenrivets]

I absolutely despise this sentiment, this idea of "I'm such a wonderful person, and she's such trash for not seeing how perfect I am." I think if people continually think this, they get nowhere as a person; they don't grow. Sometimes you need to admit your shortcomings; but sometimes you need to just say that a relationship didn't work out because you weren't right for each other, not because the other person is just too blind to see how great you really are. I'm strongly of the opinion that if two people are right for each other, they will both see it and stay together. Likewise, if two people can't make it work out, it's probably for a reason. Couples suffer so many nasty breakups because  one party can't admit that maybe, just maybe, the other one is right, and the relationship isn't going to work out; it's always, "Oh no, she just broke up with me because she can't see how good I am for her." Don't be so egotistical; although people occasionally err, more often than not, they do know who is right for them and who isn't.

Is everything I say on these boards going to be viciously attacked like this?

I've never been through a "nasty" breakup. Mostly because I <i>really</i> never did anything wrong. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I do have my flaws, but I never let them get in the way of how much I cared for someone. Every single girlfriend who's ever broken up with me has <i>never</i> had a good reason. Every single girlfriend who's ever broken up with me has asked for me back, meaning they saw what they did as wrong, and had second thoughts about their action. I used to take them back only to find that I felt too betrayed to respect them anymore. They would want to stay with me, but only after they broke up with me to experiment with love somewhere else. Can't you see how that would get to a person?

This guy just got his shit dumped. I absolutely despise your lack of care about his feelings in this situation. Who the f**k do you think you are coming in here all high and mighty saying things he doesn't need to hear right now? You don't know his situation, you don't know mine, and you made a terrible call. I'm not being egotistical if I'm just stating an objective view of a situation. Just because I want this guy to feel better about himself and maybe get some of his heart back together with a little pride doesn't say anything about being egotistical. Sorry for having empathy and giving a guy some advice that would help him feel better.

OH SHIT! I'M TRYING TO HELP A GUY GET THROUGH A HARD TIME! Must be because I want to augment my ego! Has nothing to do with my sincerest empathy with what he's going through. What a jerk. Maybe you should try seeing past your own ego shell, and look into reason.

Third time I've been attacked within a 12 hour time frame on these boards.