message to anyone, v. 14 Options

[Looow]

You guys know the drillll. Wheee. Okay GO.


______,
Get away from me please.

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Don't act like you f**king know me because you don't at ALL. You know nothing. I don't really even consider you my CLOSE friend. You're just there. Oh god. You're a hypocrite boy obessed stupid girl.

[xTINAA]

Dear Teesa,
It was good to talk even though it was for a total of like what, ten minutes? Haha. I miss 'us'. Y'know, Teesa and Christina, always hanging out together, like inseparable, having all the inside jokes and everything. It's just different and hard. And it's only going to progress like that which makes me sad.
-Me.

Dear You,
I'm trying not to care. Trying to be happy. Really, I am. But I do care still. I still wonder when the next time we're going to talk is. Sad thing is that I'll actually wait online and talk to no one for hours just in the hopes that you'll come online and we'll talk, even if it was for five minutes, because to me, it's worth it. Is that crazy? I'm not sure what to think of this whole ordeal, what to do, what to feel even. Hah, that's a funny, odd thought. Not knowing how to feel. It's not exactly like it's something that can be controlled but honestly I don't even know what to feel or how to express how I feel. The limitations of language are quite constraining when trying to express your emotions. Maybe thats it? Maybe I say I love you but only because that is the closest word to express how I feel for you? Here I go again. Trying to rationalize everything. I'm trying to stop. I'm trying to just trust everything will go okay. But I can't. I don't know when we'll see each other next and that kills me. I don't know when we'll talk to each other next and that kills me. Not knowing is killing me. Not knowing what we are, how exactly you feel for me, what's going to happen, when I can see you, when we will talk again, what we'll talk about, just not knowing is killing me. I dislike how you can control my emotions by either doing something or by not doing something. Either way, you control whether or not I'm happy and that's not good, not healthy. But I can't stop it. I don't know how and I've been trying. Secretly, I still sometimes cry. I try not to let people know, pretend that things are looking up, that I'm doing well. It's not true and I'm getting quite sick of this act I feel like I have to put up. Why do I miss you so much...I miss you more than you could know. I think that if we were to see each other, I might even cry from being so ecstatically happy just to see you. I'm crazy huh? Crazy about you.
-Me.