Mouthed Words |
 Nov 9 2005, 07:44 PM
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#1
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 My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.  Group: Member Posts: 640 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 150,342  |
Mouthed Words
my words mean nothing and reflect off your heart they fall on the floor, the letters rip apart so I dropped the conversation and left you alone to be the king of cold emotion single handed on your throne you closed my lips and sewed them tight i tried to breathe but the world's out of sight... ..... im bored all the time. i write like...alot. |
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Nov 9 2005, 09:25 PM
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#2
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 fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
It's really good.
It's not over done, it's a style that isn't used but by one or two people here. Length happens a lot. I especially like the bit about "king of cold emotion" I adore voters. Vote. Seriously, I know people will read this. If you're posting topics in this section you should comment frequently. *Critisizing other's works and comparing them to your own help you to become a better writer. When you comment, the forum comes alive. |
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Posts in this topic
Bobblehead425 Mouthed Words Nov 9 2005, 07:44 PM
b0st0ngrl That's awesome. I absolutely adore it. Nov 9 2005, 07:49 PM Bobblehead425 thank you lol i adore comments... Nov 9 2005, 08:16 PM faithin_felix woo, i like the rhymes! Feb 13 2006, 08:29 PM
lidoxangie i love the first stanza Feb 13 2006, 09:43 PM |
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