message to anyone, v. 14 Options

[Looow]

You guys know the drillll. Wheee. Okay GO.


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Get away from me please.

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Don't act like you f**king know me because you don't at ALL. You know nothing. I don't really even consider you my CLOSE friend. You're just there. Oh god. You're a hypocrite boy obessed stupid girl.

[xTINAA]

Dear Teesa,
Yes. I need to talk to you more because I need to tell you things. We never get to talk or see each other or anything. It's sad.
-Me.

Dear You,
I don't know anymore, I don't know, I just don't know. Why don't I know? Haha, honestly, I think I DO know what I need to do but it's a matter of me wanting to do it or not. Sometimes it's a burden to be intelligent because I think about a lot of things that probably a normal person my age wouldn't. I've been shaped to think these things from the people I hang around and even from the classes I'm forced to take and it gets in the way sometimes. I end up confusing myself more trying to distinguish between thinking, knowing, believeing, wanting, needing, etc. This is what I THINK: You don't really like me anymore. Stop saying you do, you don't. You might care for me, sure, but you don't like me. You just feel guilty, bad, and you want to make up for it. This isn't going to make up for it but only make things worse. You are really immature. Too immature for a relationship or for anything else. You don't even have your shit together yet. You don't know about college or about anything, you're slacking. Yeah, I'm a slacker but when I need to, I get things done even if it is at the very last possible moment. I don't see you doing that. You want to go and eff around and have your fun. I'm up for that at some times but not all the time. You are smart, inside you are, but you don't care and you don't use it. You know you need to stop doing that, stop hanging out with them, but you don't care because you still want to do that, and you still want to hang out with them. This is what I KNOW: I know I miss you and love you. I know that I want to be there with you, for you. I know that I want to help you in any way possible. I want to help get your life on track. I know that I'd try harder this time. I know that I've grown through this although it's only been a short time. This is what I NEED: I need you to get your shit together. I need you to tell me the cold, hard, truth, even if you think it will hurt my feelings. This is what I WANT: I want you to still love me. I want to see you, talk to you more, get things good again. Some other wants are listed in what I know. Because I think I know my wants and needs. SEEEEE. This is where it gets confusing. It's all because of that damn Theory of Knowledge class. I think too deep. Everything either coincides or contradicts and I confuse myself and get myself into the type of mess I'm in now. I wish things could be easier. WE NEED TO TALK. We have to. In person. Where we can't hide behind the phone or the computer. Where we'll be able to see each other (for the first time in months) and be able to see each other's body language and everything. All of that is important in communication and that's exactly what we need: to be able to communicate. BLAH this whole thing is ridiculous. Seriously. It is. I'm growing quite sick of it all but I'm not ready or willing to give up on it, on me, on you, on 'us'.
-Me.

Dear You,
You're mean. I'm the only one not going on the damn field trip. You're so not responsible. Seriously man. It pisses me off.
-Me.