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Title-less, But would love some feedback!
Ansata
post Nov 7 2005, 03:48 AM
Post #1


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The door in my ceiling opens to your floor.
Can you hear me screaming, crying for more?
Wrapped in insecurities, you whisper your love.
So true, so pure, so tainted like a dove.
Is this a caffeine high, or an IV drip?
A deep depression, or an ego trip?
This frame of bones, they once were wings.
Now I’m just a puppet, hanging from strings.
Do you like my smile on a stick?
If I hold it just right it seems to do the trick.
Rabbit ears or devil horns, pick your label.
Regardless of your threats, I am not stable.
Down my legs, just like yarn unraveled.
You have no idea how far my soul has traveled.
As horrible as it seems, I want to scare you,
I want to make your nightmares come true.
An empty highway, the yellow line divides.
See that carcass? That’s where my core resides.
Do you want a dying, wish, whisper, thought?
Ooops, sorry! This is all your karma bought.
Do I make you giggle? Do I make you twinge?
Or am I just your guilty late night binge?
I hate this song, I’ve heard it a million times.
Such a cliche, so many worn out rhymes.
But sometimes nothing seems to quite relate.
Like a whinny, emo, heart, so full of hate.
I’m just a worthless, broken, loser,
Just some kind of impulsive abuser.
Like the dirty bum you see on the street.
With stains in his beard, maggots on his feet.
So analyze this moment, try to read between the lines.
So when you wake up alone,know I left you signs.

Thanks in advance!
 
 
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shesnothxc
post Nov 7 2005, 11:22 PM
Post #2


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great job, i liked how it was almost a rant but one that flows nicely and all ties together in the end
 

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