message to anyone, v. 14 Options

[Looow]

You guys know the drillll. Wheee. Okay GO.


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Get away from me please.

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Don't act like you f**king know me because you don't at ALL. You know nothing. I don't really even consider you my CLOSE friend. You're just there. Oh god. You're a hypocrite boy obessed stupid girl.

[redpeony]

This is how I feel about you:

My faith has allowed me to trust and believe that you aren't going to hurt me this time. Something in me tells me to trust it completely. This is the same gut feeling that has never failed me, so I will trust it. I love you. I'm scared, and I feel like I'm going against my morals. It's never occurred to me that it would be possible to fall in love in such a short time... and yet I have. I've always looked down upon people who tell their boyfriends or girlfriends that they love them at the beginning of a relationship. Yet, after all we've been through... and how we are now, I can truly say that I love you. From the beginning, it's always been about wanting the best for you and wanting you to be happy. Yearning to know you for who you really are and love you for it. To be honest, I don't know if that was because of you as an individual, or the fact that you just came by at the right time and something about you attracted me to you. Even after getting to know you and realizing that you weren't who I thought you were, I cared about you more than I knew. The harsh, stupid things that you have done... I have pardoned. The tears you've made me cry... I have chosen to forget. I've wiped out all the anger and given you a clean slate. All the bad things that happened in the past... gone. Except the feelings for you that have grown throughout the ordeal have stayed. And I don't know why that is. I don't know why I am so forgiving towards you, when I am such a hostile person otherwise. I am quick to be offended and will usually hold grudges. With you... I can't hold grudges. Is it because I love you, or just because I'm weak? You tolerate my cold stares when I'm angry, you offer to rub my shoulders when I'm stressed, you make sure that I'm happy at all times and even when I'm not smiling, you ask me if something's wrong. You are always the first to notice my bad moods. You help me with my math homework and have such a great amount of patience that it amazes me. You know I don't like calling people, so you make it that you call me every night. You even asked me what time I would like you to call. You've taught me so much... in so many ways. And even though it's so early in the year, the fact that you'll probably be going away for University next year scares me. I'm already so attached... ugh... I don't want to think about us having to break up because of the distance and then us dating other people and all of this going to the past... who's going to be there to call me every night to talk for 2 hours? Send me text messages throughout the day, call me beautiful, wrap his arms around me from behind... who's actually going to bother to try to talk and work things out when I get pissy and annoyed? Who will give me incentive to do homework, tell me to follow my dreams, bring me roses for no reason, hold my hand while driving, play with my hair, nonstop bother me when I'm doing my homework and tell me I'm 'so hot' when I'm concentrating? Who's going to be a total dork and borrow 20 books at the library at a time, and stuff em all in his backpack because he refuses to let me carry any? Who will randomly relate us to a song that is playing in his car... "I'll be Jack and you can be Diane.. or you can be Jack if you want"..? Who will try to talk me out of breaking up with him.. and then send me a text message apologizing and telling me to let him know what I really want? Who will make me laugh so hard my sides split? Who will I love hugging around the waist, having his chin rest on my nose so that I can look up into his eyes? Who am I going to catch looking at me out of the corner of my eye when I'm going about my business, and who will I laugh at and ask why he's doing that? Who's going to tell me it's because I have such a hot side profile? Who will put his arms around me, close his eyes and tell me to lead him back to his car? Who will be the guy that tries to act cool, knows that I love him, and has serious talks with me about the most random things? Who will pick me up and throw me over his shoulder to go back to his car when I don't want to go home but he knows I need to? Who will say that we're going to go shopping for new jeans when I rip mine sneaking over a wire fence at 11pm? Who will admit to me that he loves books and watching plays? Who will tell me stories of his childhood and how he loved to stay at home playing with his Playmobil while his mom wanted him to go out and socialize? Who will be the most adorable guy I have ever met... and not even realize it? Who will listen to my side of the argument when we disagree, and respect (really respect) my opinion even though it's not his? Who will make me strive to be a more motivated, more caring, more kind, more responsible individual?

You're so sweet... so amazing.

...gosh, and you are not even close to leaving yet. It's pathetic. =p

I am actually disgusting myself... I have never in my life been this mushy, for lack of a better word. This is the first time I have ever given out my heart... and it's delicate. Please, I'm begging you... treat it well. I love you so much.