official confessions, v.2 >:-] |
official confessions, v.2 >:-] |
*mzkandi* |
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#1
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Created by basick
I find that I am more dependent on people to bring happiness into my life that I would like to admit. |
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Post
#2
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Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 2,343 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 17,767 ![]() |
I pretended to be asleep when he put the blanket around me, but inside I was smiling. I love him, but everyday is like an adventure with him. I wonder if that's why I stick around. I have no good reason for loving him, but I do. I feel gross for letting him kiss me tonight since he started smoking again. I am questioning myself and wondering if I shouldn't have let him, so he will stop. My mouth tastes gross, I want to puke. I don't think he'll stay true to his word when he says that he'll quit for me. I really don't know why I'm still with him. But I love him... therefore I need him. He keeps me, me. He's made such a huge impact on my life... I'm making excuses for him. I don't like how he grabbed my ass today. I really didn't enjoy standing in the deserted golf course making out. I wish we just lay on the ground and stared up into the sky at the stars. Tonight was sort of a disappointment. But I love him all the same. Why? I don't know. I don't think I'll ever be able to leave him. I don't think I could function without him. That makes me feel kinda bad that I've gotten dependant. But part of why I love him is because he's opened my heart and made me less afraid of falling. I ignore the advice my friends give me about him. I feel bad, but I need to follow my heart. I used to be afraid of making anything matter to me. But I know he matters to me. I know I'll be depressed if it doesn't work out because then I will know I had bad judgement. But I'm taking that risk, because I love him so much.
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