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Lost you
rainnydaiis
post Oct 21 2005, 04:28 PM
Post #1


SOS Brigade!!
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Hmm been a while since I've actually wrote a poem and posted it up in the writing section. But hope you enjoy this. Not that great but haha can't stop someone from doing something that they enjoy.



I gave it all away
for the money & fame
I traded you
for all the goods in life
but then the bad times rolled
and all was stripped away
then all I thought about was you
knowing that you were more precious
because when bad times rolled
you would've held on
now I know
how precious you are
because I have lost you.
 
 
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*mipadi*
post Oct 23 2005, 08:28 PM
Post #2





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It tells more than shows--always a bad tactic in writing. Why not show how things were bad when the person was lost, rather than tell?
 

Posts in this topic
rainnydaiis   Lost you   Oct 21 2005, 04:28 PM
Lightner   =( thats kinda sad... why did she/he trade it all?...   Oct 21 2005, 04:30 PM
mipadi   It tells more than shows--always a bad tactic in w...   Oct 23 2005, 08:28 PM
torngemini   well sometimes the feelings of the poet is what ne...   Oct 24 2005, 07:39 PM


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