Lost you |
 Oct 21 2005, 04:28 PM
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SOS Brigade!!  Group: Member Posts: 2,573 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,775  |
Hmm been a while since I've actually wrote a poem and posted it up in the writing section. But hope you enjoy this. Not that great but haha can't stop someone from doing something that they enjoy.
I gave it all away for the money & fame I traded you for all the goods in life but then the bad times rolled and all was stripped away then all I thought about was you knowing that you were more precious because when bad times rolled you would've held on now I know how precious you are because I have lost you. |
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| *mipadi* |
Oct 23 2005, 08:28 PM
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#2
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Guest |
It tells more than shows--always a bad tactic in writing. Why not show how things were bad when the person was lost, rather than tell?
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Posts in this topic
rainnydaiis Lost you Oct 21 2005, 04:28 PM
Lightner =( thats kinda sad... why did she/he trade it all?... Oct 21 2005, 04:30 PM
torngemini well sometimes the feelings of the poet is what ne... Oct 24 2005, 07:39 PM |
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