message to anyone, volume 12 Options

[Teesa]

You guys know the drill.

To ____________ :
It's funny. Really. I had a great time tonight watching the movie. Then, I thought and hoped and to myself that I wouldn't see you. When I pulled up, I saw your car and my heart sank. Yeah, it did. But when I saw you, I got all nervous again..I don't want to feel like this. Ahhh, somehow, I feel like we should be together. I know I could make you happier than she ever could. I know I could. But I will never get the chance. Whatever.

--Teesa

[xTINAA]

Dear You,
I had a bad dream about you about a night ago. Really bad. I started to cry. All I can honestly do is think about you and I hate it. I hate how you seem to control my emotions. All today I thought about you. I secretly hoped I'd see you somehow, that maybe we'd run into each other at the mall, or foolishly that you would come and see me. I can't help but think of you and imagine seeing you and picturing all the things we would do together, how it would be different. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry that it wasn't enough. I miss you. I want, no, I need to see you. I need to hear your voice, your laugh, see your smile, your eyes. This is so incredibly hard for me. And then I begin to wonder, are you even thinking about me? Does this even bother you, are you even hurting? Do you miss me, do you wonder how I'm doing? Do you still love me or did you ever at all? I can't handle this. I miss you so much. I just want to be with you. I don't want another guy; I don't want to go out and look for someone new or "better". You're the one I want. You're the one I want to do all of those couple-like things with. I can't even picture myself doing them with someone else. I want you back, desperately, I need you back. It's so hard to pass by all the places we went together, it's so hard to listen to the songs we dedicated to each other, it's so hard to see all the couples walk by, it's so hard. It's so hard to pretend to be happy and to put on that fake smile. Granted, it's easier in a way too though, because then I don't have to answer people's inquiring questions but still. It's hard to smile when all I want to do is cry. It's hard to go out and have "fun" when all I want to do is cry. I feel like Jennifer Aniston in Bruce Almighty when I pray. Wanna know why? Because who did she most pray for? Bruce. And then finally what did she ask God? To make her stop loving him because it hurts too much. I feel the same way and I pray the same things. But what happened? They got back together. What happens in almost every single love/romantic movie? They get back together; love conquers all; blah blah blah. I only wish it would be like that. That that was real life. I hope this week is different. I hope you call. I pray you call me or IM me or txt me or something. I pray that I see you, get to hear your voice, something. I love you.
-Me.