No one knows Options

[ExExEx]

No one knows how I'm feeling. On the outside, I may seem like a normal teenager, but on the inside, there's too much pain...too much for me to bare. For 7 years now, my dad has been a gambling addict. During these 7 years, I've experienced things that are more heart-breaking than any of you can imagine. No one knows what it feels like when you have to hire a driver to drive you to the casino to find your dad, or knowing that 2 months worth of income has been lost after your dad comes home at 4 in the morning. Right now, my family is literally broken apart. My mom is 3000 miles away trying to get a degree and find a job and my dad just left a note this morning saying that he's flying to toronto. At the same time, my parents expect me to get in the best universities, but how can I do anything with this much stress inside of me? You might think I'm just trying to get attention by saying all this, and maybe I am. But I can't hold this in any longer. I've been having suicidal thoughts for awhile now, but they don't mean anything. I just want people to understand how I feel.

[yummy_delight]

First of all, I'm so sorry that you have to go through all this. No one deserves to be in this situation. I understand your feelings, and I get that you need to vent a little. HOWEVER, suicide is NOT the answer. Believe it or not, there are people out there that have it a LOT worse than you. I have friends who have parents that beat them or do worse things to them. It seems to me like you have parents that love you and want you to succeed, hence the pressure for you to get into a good school.

You should talk to your father about his addiction. Tell him exactly how you feel about it and how it is negatively affecting your life. If he loves you, which I'm sure he does, he will attempt to get some help to treat it.

I agree with Lacey about talking to someone. A counselor, or another adult that you trust. Sometimes we need outside help to better our situations.

I hope everything works out for you and I wish you all the best. If you ever need someone else to talk to, just PM me.