Getting over someone?, How... Options

[MeanBastard]

I just got out of a 1 year relationship and I find that getting over that person that I love is hard as hell. She and I are still good friends, but everytime I talk to her hurts so bad. I don't want to ruin this friendship like how I ruined the relationship, but I don't know how to get over it. Post your expeiences?

[FREEcandies]

It's been a week since my girlfriend of 3 years left me to be with someone else, so yes this is quite difficult. I've found, however, that things like this only helps. Talk about it, share your experience and read about other people's experience. Don't look for guidelines of stages for getting over someone and try to follow them, it will be unsuccessful. Those stages are the observed stages that everyone goes through, NATURALLY. You will experience all those stages, but how long each lasts is ultimately up to you. Getting over someone is a difficult thing but it has to be done. You cannot and should not spend your life in remorse and depression. Really, it seems like the whole world is falling apart right now but it's not. It's your heart that's falling apart and that's understandable. Realize though that time doesn't wait for anybody. So don't stand there and stare; pick up the pieces of your heart and run after it. You will have the chance to make it whole again later.

As far as "being friends" after a relationship. Don't look forward to that, not just yet. Right now just concentrate on YOUR life, and being an INDIVIDUAL again. If seeing her around and talking to her is hurting you, why do it? Don't punish yourself any more than the damage it has already taken. Tell her you can't be a friend, tell her she shouldn't talk to you unless it's something very important. As cold and bitter as that may sound to her, it's the most realistic and logical thing to do. Remind her that it's really not you who's being bitter, it's the whole situation that is bitter. Good luck, I'm still working on mine.