this isn't working Options

[*tweeak*]

It seems that lately, all of my friends have been really happy. All coupling up and stuff, generally being happy.

And then there's me.

Off, over there, metaphorically far away from everyone. And I'm glad they're happy- or, at least should be- and I've done a remarkably good job of taking it in stride and remaining at least superficially optimistic, because I know whining wouldn't help anything. And I love some of my friends, and I'm weening myself off the ones who annoy me again, but practically everyone is going out with someone, and I don't know, maybe it's a coincidence, but it seems to change the way some of them act around me. I;m the third wheel for a couple of my friends and they don't seem to mind, so I don't either until I actually think about it. But still it seems immensely unfair they should be happier. I'm not one of those people who won't let themselves be happy, really I'm not, and so I manage to be pretty contented. And yet there's this large void that needs filling, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.

I was doing just fine despite the endless :D :D :D :D s that appear in some peoples' xangas (if they happen again, I swear I'm going to snap) until a friend mentioned having a party tonight if anyone wasn't going to another party. I said I didn't know the other person was having one, so I'd like to go. Then the other guy replied and said he didn't want everyone to know, but never extended the invitation to me. Then the other party never happened because everyone went there and now they're all saying how great it was. And I was here. Well, great. Thanks a lot. Maybe if my friends didn't travel in herds this wouldn't suck so much, but I really don't appreciate being blatanly discluded even if the person whose paty it was doesn't like me very much. He actually subscribed to and has been commenting on my xanga, so I thought he was starting to tolerate me, but apparently not so much. Bah.

Well, so yes, I just had to ponder the way I still am not nearly as much a part of the social order of things as I thought.

[ClaudelGFX]

Uhm, dunno but from what i read here, its much more then you needing their attention or beeing the 3rd wheel, but i guess you're a big girl and somewhere in time you'll find the peace you need, and yes sometimes beeing a "3rd wheel" puts you in the sittuation to think and reflect more about your life style and others, but that doesnt mean you have to copy others life style to gain more attention from them, and this is only my point of view, eventually they will "see" you as you are and they will appreaciate you for what you are, not for what they wanna "see" at or from you. And if they really are your Friends, not because you consider them as beeing your friends, and they really do care about you or your feelings... they will accept you ... if Not, i guess you should find some other friends who will appreciate you for what you are, for who you are as a Human, nor even thinking like "oh yeah she's a geek" or anything related to or about those things...

PS: Your such called Friends can be more MEAN then your enemies.

IMO.only