this isn't working Options

[*tweeak*]

It seems that lately, all of my friends have been really happy. All coupling up and stuff, generally being happy.

And then there's me.

Off, over there, metaphorically far away from everyone. And I'm glad they're happy- or, at least should be- and I've done a remarkably good job of taking it in stride and remaining at least superficially optimistic, because I know whining wouldn't help anything. And I love some of my friends, and I'm weening myself off the ones who annoy me again, but practically everyone is going out with someone, and I don't know, maybe it's a coincidence, but it seems to change the way some of them act around me. I;m the third wheel for a couple of my friends and they don't seem to mind, so I don't either until I actually think about it. But still it seems immensely unfair they should be happier. I'm not one of those people who won't let themselves be happy, really I'm not, and so I manage to be pretty contented. And yet there's this large void that needs filling, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.

I was doing just fine despite the endless :D :D :D :D s that appear in some peoples' xangas (if they happen again, I swear I'm going to snap) until a friend mentioned having a party tonight if anyone wasn't going to another party. I said I didn't know the other person was having one, so I'd like to go. Then the other guy replied and said he didn't want everyone to know, but never extended the invitation to me. Then the other party never happened because everyone went there and now they're all saying how great it was. And I was here. Well, great. Thanks a lot. Maybe if my friends didn't travel in herds this wouldn't suck so much, but I really don't appreciate being blatanly discluded even if the person whose paty it was doesn't like me very much. He actually subscribed to and has been commenting on my xanga, so I thought he was starting to tolerate me, but apparently not so much. Bah.

Well, so yes, I just had to ponder the way I still am not nearly as much a part of the social order of things as I thought.

[*tweeak*]

Oh.

We never really did that to begin with, and it's not like they're neglecting me (well, not that person, anyway), I just feel akwards sometimes, since we'll be in the middle of a conversations and they'll put their arms around and each other and stuff. It's fine, I'm just jealous (though I don't let them know that)

[jsmooth4ever]

Oh.

We never really did that to begin with, and it's not like they're neglecting me (well, not that person, anyway), I just feel akwards sometimes, since we'll be in the middle of a conversations and they'll put their arms around and each other and stuff. It's fine, I'm just jealous (though I don't let them know that)

Don't be jealous sounds more like envy but no need for either there is someone for everybody but don't go looking let it find you love that is unless your down with the rainbow then I guess its fair game I don't know how the rainbow works blah lol.