this isn't working Options

[*tweeak*]

It seems that lately, all of my friends have been really happy. All coupling up and stuff, generally being happy.

And then there's me.

Off, over there, metaphorically far away from everyone. And I'm glad they're happy- or, at least should be- and I've done a remarkably good job of taking it in stride and remaining at least superficially optimistic, because I know whining wouldn't help anything. And I love some of my friends, and I'm weening myself off the ones who annoy me again, but practically everyone is going out with someone, and I don't know, maybe it's a coincidence, but it seems to change the way some of them act around me. I;m the third wheel for a couple of my friends and they don't seem to mind, so I don't either until I actually think about it. But still it seems immensely unfair they should be happier. I'm not one of those people who won't let themselves be happy, really I'm not, and so I manage to be pretty contented. And yet there's this large void that needs filling, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.

I was doing just fine despite the endless :D :D :D :D s that appear in some peoples' xangas (if they happen again, I swear I'm going to snap) until a friend mentioned having a party tonight if anyone wasn't going to another party. I said I didn't know the other person was having one, so I'd like to go. Then the other guy replied and said he didn't want everyone to know, but never extended the invitation to me. Then the other party never happened because everyone went there and now they're all saying how great it was. And I was here. Well, great. Thanks a lot. Maybe if my friends didn't travel in herds this wouldn't suck so much, but I really don't appreciate being blatanly discluded even if the person whose paty it was doesn't like me very much. He actually subscribed to and has been commenting on my xanga, so I thought he was starting to tolerate me, but apparently not so much. Bah.

Well, so yes, I just had to ponder the way I still am not nearly as much a part of the social order of things as I thought.

[*tweeak*]

I personally think it is just luck almost and coincidence. Sooner or later, one of your friends will be single and you will date.

not really. it's not really like that. I don't know how to explain it better

Tweeak I knew that someday I was going to meet you sooner or later

huh?

But you didn't like the host anyway so I guess its a lose-win situation I know what it is like to watch everyone around me fall in love and being the only one without people doing double dates and going to the movies I don't think they mean to exclude you from anything I think they just thinking oh im a couple so lets take another couple.

It's not that I didn't like the host, he just doesn't like me much. It's a long, complicated story.

they don't double date. it's not like that. i meant more of being their 3rd wheel in school, anyway. I was friends with the girl, and then became better friends with the guy because I was around them both so much

And as much as a couple of my friends going out disgusted me, it's worse now that they're not. now she feels the need to flirt with everyone incessenly and ignore me for them

hm, but thanks for trying to decipher my mess of a post