Three Souls, a draft really in need of feedback Options

[LoST SouL]

Three Souls

i miss you
i miss wat we had
the change can never be reversed
as the summer dew drops from the evening sky
three bodies
one soul
one mind
one heart
as tight as a knot
chains that can never be broken
but asumptions were wrong
things never do last
memories washed away in the rain
three little kids that grew up
grew up
and were lost in the abyss of the crowd
crowded hall ways
gigantic streets
unforgetable days
and depressing nights
teary eyes
and momentous laughs
but thats all gone now
its all the past...

its just a draft.. so feedback would really be helpful

[*mishyerr*]

hmm, so lovely already~

I think a little bit more of 'vivid description' (as we call it in English ._.) would help it though.. ^___^