The Second Issue of the cB Newspaper, it's out! Options

[cBNewsStaff]

The cB newspaper, Second issue


enjoy!

[ClaudelGFX]

The Ramblings of a Server
by Justin [Sadolakced Acid]
July 2005

The Ramblings of a Server

Interesting things happen when the server is down. When I'm down, cB is without a home... it's floating in the nether regions. I'm quite important; please don't make me scrap metal. That being said, the last time I was down I had an interesting conversation with an entity named cBnews... here's the logged conversation.

Unknown entity: Hey server! Why are you down?

----information on unknown entity----
Browser: Firefox
IP address: 121.185.2.55
System: Windows XP
Screen resolution: 1024x768
-------------------------------------

cBserver: Who are you, unknown entity?
Unknown entity: What? Who's unknown entity? Oh that's me... we'll get to that later. There's more important things to talk about, like, why are you down?

----information query----
cBserver is requesting additional information on unknown entity.
-------------------------

cBserver: I'm in for a routine checkup. If I am down, how is 'unknown entity' still able to contact me?
Unknown entity: I'm cBnews. I have my ways.

----rename function----
unknown entity = cBnews
-----------------------

cBnews: Well, while I'm talking to you, I might as well ask a few questions. First off, what's so special about you that people love to visit you?
cBserver: I'm a server. I'm not special, what I serve is. Fact is, if nobody visited me, nobody would visit me. I'm like that mall that has nothing of value but people go to anyway because of the other people.
cBnews: What? I didn't know servers could use analogies...
cBserver: They can't.
cBnews: Wait... you're not a server, are you?

----information query received----
query for information:
information sent:
IP: 67.114.21.143
size: 137.6 tbs
running: Linux
----------------------------------

cBnews: You know, this whole 'being down' thing is quite annoying. Many people are annoyed.
cBserver: Sorry, but it's necessary. It's a big bad Internet out there, and I need to get checkups.
cBnews: You could at least not schedule it for 12 AM, when everyone is using you.

----message intercepted----
serverstaff to webmaster:
Hey, the server is going wacko... it's got activity, but it's supposed to be shut down. It's not urgent, just need to know what it was. Anyway, server is to go back online quite soon.
---------------------------

cBserver: Crap.
cBnews: What? Wait... I didn't know servers could cuss...
cBserver: Hurry up. I'm about to be reconnected...
cBnews: ALRIGHT. So just answer this question: what's the secret to cB?
cBserver: That's easy. The secret to cB is--

----server reconnected----
1 reboot.
2 print error.
3 kill gremlin
4 if gremlin killed, goto 5. if else, goto 3. end loop after 99 loops
5 server boot
--------------------------

* The above log is not to be considered absolutely true. It is simply the word of the server, and servers often lie.

LOL!, sorry if i offend any1,but do you guys really know what is a 'Server' ? And even this is a joke, its a Lame Joke. (Since there are 324934xN type's of Servers)
And plus pasting your "Server IP Address" (if that's real and its not a joke) its very lame again,i say`it, yes, you actually invite the 'script kiddos' to try their 'toys' to see if they can 'hack' it ;-) (Or even,if they hate any of the Staff Members/Admins they can DDOS and put your 'Server' down for days/weeks and even month's.

PS:Google and Search -> "What is a Server" doh.
PS2:I hope this is only a stupid joke.