I am sorry, Poem |
 Aug 30 2005, 06:05 AM
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#1
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 WarPath Leader.  Group: Member Posts: 668 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 216,721  |
-= I am sorry =-
I am sorry for all that I am I am sorry for being nice I am sorry for being understanding I am sorry for being mysterious I am sorry for being smart I am sorry for being pretty I am sorry for being there for you I am sorry for being soft in my ways I am sorry for having a gentle heart I am sorry for letting you fall I am sorry for not being able to stop it I am sorry for not being stronger I am sorry for not being able to forcible hurt you ... damned ... wicked ... doomed ... unforgiven ... evil ... life ? I am sorry... |
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Sep 7 2005, 07:50 PM
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#2
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
Hm. It's okay. The repitition is a nice touch, but the first few lines are slightly boring and conceited.
'I am sorry for not being able to forcible hurt you' That line makes no sense. I tihnk this needs a lot of revising. |
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Sep 11 2005, 12:36 PM
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#3
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WarPath Leader. Group: Member Posts: 668 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 216,721 |
QUOTE(AkaRyux @ Sep 8 2005, 2:50 AM) Hm. It's okay. The repitition is a nice touch, but the first few lines are slightly boring and conceited. 'I am sorry for not being able to forcible hurt you' That line makes no sense. I tihnk this needs a lot of revising.  No,lol since its a poem, you need not to read 1by one and think about each of that phrases because all are linked and they do have their own sense, its something more then just poetry,if you dont have any ideea better not talk. |
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Posts in this topic
Claudel I am sorry Aug 30 2005, 06:05 AM
broken_lance cool!
l love it
good job! Aug 31 2005, 09:18 AM Claudel Yay,thanx im glad you like`it ;-) Sep 1 2005, 08:44 PM LinLinxxkanna yea itz good the title kinda made me notice tho b... Sep 4 2005, 10:32 PM rinchan089 It touches me somehow. It's beautiful!
R... Sep 6 2005, 10:09 PM
torngemini haha straight to the point ... nice Sep 10 2005, 01:09 AM |
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