Valiant Ones, A poem deidicated to the military... |
 Sep 6 2005, 10:14 PM
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 What up, dawg?  Group: Member Posts: 235 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 19,480  |
*~*Valiant Ones*~*
A you are tearing for those On the battlefield, One thought comes to mind that causes Other thoughts to yield. Maybe these souls didn't die in Vain, Maybe these souls didn't feel the Pain, For their minds were set on Just one small thing. They didn't need to feel, didn't Need to think. For as they lie here, crimson Mixing with the mud, They live on because there's Honor Running in their blood... by Rin-chan |
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Sep 10 2005, 10:41 AM
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#2
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What up, dawg? Group: Member Posts: 235 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 19,480 |
^^^ Thanks, alot.
Personally, the poem isn't jumbled or disconnected at all. You read line to line. Each line makes sense and the next line is another thought that connects to the previous line. They all completely connect in the last line. Besides, if it made perfect, logical sense, it would be called prose. Rin-chan |
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Posts in this topic
rinchan089 Valiant Ones Sep 6 2005, 10:14 PM
kyttiekatt sad.
thats all i hav to say. (except for "tha... Sep 7 2005, 12:08 PM rinchan089 Thanks for reading it, but I don't think it... Sep 7 2005, 12:55 PM dispn0ygonekrazy Im glad you wrote something for the people who die... Sep 9 2005, 12:25 AM yukichan Kind of scares me because my friend is planning to... Sep 9 2005, 03:01 AM rinchan089 Aww... thanks!
I'll pray for your father ... Sep 9 2005, 10:25 PM Paradox of Life I don't really like the rhyme scheme. All your... Sep 9 2005, 11:02 PM torngemini I liked it and I kinda like it when some people wr... Sep 10 2005, 01:08 AM
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