Friends?or Enemys? Options

[xlostlilanqelx]

throughout middle school years , we (me and three other girls) learned alot from each other . Even at middle school , Ariel and Sabrina, two of the girls were having little"books" where they would write secrets thoughts in them and would share it between them only . inside the book , they wrote all the goals in life they want to accomplish together in highschool. I finally told them how i felt with the book . Everyone sees me as the one who always is the backup if the two girls would fight and have shit with each other. There was a time when Ariel finally showed me her true self by using me as the backup when she thought the Sabrina was leaving. but after we found out when Sabrina wasn't leaving anymore they continued their goal in hIghschool.Cindy was the one i can tell all my secrets too and she was the one who finally helped me tell them all the bullshit they done to me. We are tight now ,but sometimes i hate them for putting me down. I dont have any insight on what i want to be in the future, but when i try to reveal some of my secret dreams , they just put me down . Thats when i even get more confuse of what i want in my life. Sometimes , i just want to breakaway from them ,but they just hold on . Ariel is the most judgmental one in the group. She doesnt want any of us to wear make-up. when she sees you in a little bit of make-up she'll start yelling and screaming at you. I see that sometimes she trys to control, especially me . so thats why i dont know who i am. Sabrina, she's the one thats soemtimes is like a dictator. she wants all the attention to her , from what i see. Im just confuse if they just want my friendship only to make it seem like they have more friends. I want to be a singer in the future ,but they just kill my dreams. Does honesty make them friends ,even if it means to kill my hopes?

[chibibunii]

i agree - get new friends :] but also..maybe they aren't as bad as they sound. you also have to put yourself in other's shoes to know hte whole story. but, your the person who knows yourself best - so .. i advice you to take some time in a quiet place and try to calm yourself to peace, and think about it.. "should i really keep them as my friends.." don't let this friendship be because you pity them.. or because they're forcing you too..do what you feel is right. because its your life - no one else's. no one could control you. try meeting new people and tell your old friends how you really feel, if they dont change, then leave. you tried, and it didn't work. you always have to fulfill your life before you think of others..
:] i'd like to be your friend too.

Hello, i'm Jessie.