Tips for the budding rock star Options

[*mipadi*]

Everyday, on my way to and from work, I listen to the same college radio station, because it is, sadly, the only decent radio station in the area. This means, of course, that day in and day out, I listen to the same crappy indie rock music, interspersed with a few good songs. Well, I finally decided to do something about my aural situation: I have devised a compendium of tips for the budding rock star:

1. Learn to sing. This is key. Just having a few fancy words isn't good enough; if that's all you've got, be a poet. If you're going to take the time to set it to music, at least learn to sing a few notes. Oh, and come up with something better than a flat melody.

2. Use your fscking clean channel. There's a reason that the channels on your average amp aren't labeled "Overdrive", "More Overdrive", and "More Overdrive Than Humanly Possible". It's because you are meant to use that clean channel. See, it's not good enough to just go into a "quiet" part of your song by using palm muting and less distortion; be a renegade and go clean! Music is all about enery and emotion, but it doesn't have to be energetic all the time. Along the same lines, invest in a guitar with some single-coil pickups--not all your songs have to use triple Seymour Duncan ultra-distorted-to-the-max humbuckers.

3. Power chords do not a song make. Sorry, punkers--it's getting old to hear a song pieced together with two or three powerchords. There's a rich library of other chords out there--be original and use 'em! Also, take a stand and use a chord that has a major or minor tonality--or, if you really don't want a major or minor tonality, throw a sus2 or a sus4 chord in there for a change of pace.

4. A chord contains more than just its root note. That's right, bassists--chords are more than just a root note. Generally speaking, at least two notes more. So play some of those, too. Great tip: if your guitarist insists on playing just powerchords (see #3), throw in a major or minor third in there liven the song up a bit.

5. There are other instruments than just the guitar, drums, and bass. Bring in a trumpet, for example, every now and then.

6. Drummers: Not all of you are Dave Grohl. Which means not all of you have to pound the shit out of your drums. Turn down those "phat beats" every now and then.

7. Sing something original. Assuming you are singing (see #1), sing something new and original. Emo guys: yes, we know you loved someone back in high school when you were a dork and everyone thought you were gay because you shaved your legs and wore black eyeliner. It's great that you've taken advantage of melancholy teenaged girls to turn it into a huge moneymaking enterprise, but get over it. Everyone who goes through high school experiences heartache. It was cool when you first sang about it, but hearing it for the 1000th time is old. If you are going to sing about it, sing about it in an original way; getting up on stage with a guitar and singing "I f**king loved her but she went out with the captain of the football team" is starting to get old.

8. There are other time signatures than 4/4. Maybe you should learn to use 'em.

There are but a few tips for the budding rock star. If anyone can think of anymore, that'd be wonderful. Maybe we can bring some talent tips to an upstart young rock band.

[*mipadi*]

I'll have to check that out. Incubus is definitely a good band with a lot of talent, and a fairly original sound (especially some older stuff).