Messing my head, is she playing me or what? Options

[JessBur1981]

I dated this girl then she left me for her old b/f. Then he beat her up a month later and she came back to me. Now only 3 days after she got beat up she leaves me again and goes back to him. I really care fir this girl, but my mind can't handle all the games. Now I sit here worried for her, yet at the same time angry, sad, and a lot of handrolled emotions all balled up together. It's even starting to effect my everyday life. WHAT DO I DO?

[CrazayChristian]

Let me fill you in on what's goin on here:

She's attracted to him more than you bro.

I'm sorry to say it, but she is basically thinking:

"Man I really like him, but I need to heal before I'm with him, maybe I can get someone to help me"*goes to you*
"Ok, I think I'm ready"*Goes back*
"Help!"*you*

She might not notice it, but she's using you.

When A woman feels something romantic she feels one of 2 things:

1.Lover

2.Provider

That guy is the lover you are the provider. That's why she "Loves you both" and she is as you say "A fool".

She's a fool because this guy does all the right things at the right time, and BAM she is attracted to him. She can't help it, some guys are just assholes like that, and they know what to do to be able to be abusive.

Think of the basis of human thinking:

To survive
and
To Procreate

Now, think of what she's thinking "I need him (you) to survive, and get through this, but I need him(him) to get the feelings I want(I.E. Lustful attractive evolutionary features)"

So, In other words, Provider is looks higher than Lover.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Help her through it, but don't develop feelings for her any further. She's stuck on this guy, and it's basically his choice on wether or not he wants her. Help her through it, be a friend, but don't make feelings in you grow, or you'll just screw yourself.


Edit: CONTACT

If she has a screen name, do that.

Phone, do that.

As long as she doesn't tell him, and he doesn't see you with her, it's all good. He can't do anything about what he doesn't know about. What an ass, when she breaks up with him, make sure it stays that way.

(Oh and if she does the whole "Sex for every Relationship" Deal, this would tap into the Provider/Lover deal. Does this mean you scared her away by waiting? Not at all, it just backs this up)