Neglective, What happened? Options

[Paradox of Life]

Okay, usually I'm not the kind of person that would care about things like this, but it was last year when I had my first boyfriend. 6th grade. You're probably thinking it was some pathetic little puppy love piece of shit thing, but I really thought I was in love. And you would think I'd gotten over it by now since it's been what.. 4 months since we broke up. Well.. it started with a love letter he sent me. We'd known each other for only about 7 or 8 months. Well, it was the sweetest thing I had ever read in my whole life. 2 pages of how much he adored me and how he felt when he first saw me a such. I suppose I let 'first love' cloud my judgment for the duration of our 'going steady'.

He was in 8th grade and I was in 6th (he's 14 and I'm 12). He was embarrassed to hang out with me in public, so we'd keep it a secret and meet after school. But oftentimes whenever I said hello to him and there were other people around, he'd just ignore me and I wondered if it was because he was ashamed of loving me. We exchanged letters for 2 months or so and I kept them in my closet. I thought about giving them all back, but I decided against it. I don't even remember where they all are to this day.

After a while, I got sick and tired of him treating me this way. He wrote me a letter saying that he thought it would be better if he hung out with kids of his own age and me with kids my age. That was a comment hidden between lots of others (let's meet at the library, you're so hot!) and it just totally pissed me off. He even gave me a necklace inside that letter. But I gave it back to him and told him to leave me alone. To hang out with kids his own age.

I don't know if I broke up with him or he broke up with me, but I've been dreaming about him as if we were still good friends. Is this normal? Did I do the right thing? Is there something better I could have done?

[*anubis*]

does it really matter who broke up with who in this situation? i mean--either way, it's over. and i know you'll probably hate me for saying this but, i, too, at your age thought i was "in love."

but then years later, even now, entering 10th grade, i realized that the "love" i thought i had back then... wasn't love.

of course, you probably think that you might be an exception for being so young, but i also truly thought i was in love too in 6th grade.

but as the years pass by, you will start to realize that, at such a young age, you don't even know what love is.

and it's a good thing that you guys are over because he was going to high school. he's two years older than you and knows probably more than you about life--making it easier for him to trick or manipulate you.

and if he was so ashamed in the first place, then it's a good thing that it's over.