i miss her, she was my best friend Options

[iheartsimba]

I was 8 years old. I was at swim team practice sitting alone. This girl comes up to me asking if I wanted to be her swim partner. I said yes. We had a blast together. Like natural friends. That night she invited me to sleep over. We talked about everything. A few sleepovers later she started calling me her bestfriend. And I couldn't agree more. We were like the perfect pair of people.
We swore we'd be best friends forever. We loved eachother so much.
Well when I was 12, my friend got this disease. They thought it was cancer. They soon found out it was a tumor. She was seriously sick for a long time. I loved her so much, and we were having some hard times. She kept saying she tried commiting suicide before.
I was scared. I stuck with her through everyhting. Then a lot more things began happening, along with the disease her parents were tlaking about divorce, her sister beet her, her dad was having job problems, and they were probably gonna move....leaving me behind.
Well I stuck with her. THings started to get better. She got better, her parents are madly in love again, and they wern't moving.
Well I told her a lot of secrets about myself later....and they got out around the school. I got in this fight with her. I felt like I had done so much for her, but gotten nothing in return.
We fought for a while, and just ignored eachother for about the next year.
Well a few months ago we came back to eachother. We told eachother how much we missed it all. Now I am 13 and I miss her so much. But by now, I think she has moved on. She's become pretty popular and well....she's changed. She seems so much happier without me. And I miss her SO MUCH. I loved sleeping over. I used to hate sleeping on the floor at her freezing cold house...but you don't relize how much you loved it till its gone. I'm crying at the moment. She was my bestfriend in the whole world. She was part of me. We were eachother. When I lost her, it was like a part of me was missing. I think the part of her that I was has healed. She doesn't need me. But I need her so much.

-----------------------------
We have moved on
I've gone my way,
She's gone hers.
We are different people now.
But for me,
It's like a curse.
She has changed
While I remain the same
Leaving me crying
Exhailing deep breaths of tears
She has new firends
Mine are deserted
She has so much fun
With everyone
Leaving me, just hoping for life to be done.
She was part of me.
She was who I was,
That part of me is missing.
Where is the love,
We said we'd be best friends for ever.
I have the notes to prove it.
What happened to that?
Was it erased?
My heart was,
I have to many problems to face...
I miss her.
I loved her.
She was my only real firend.
We related to everyhting.
We said we'd be firends forever.
I guess not.

[iheartsimba]

I wrote her a letter....:





Ok I’m sick today…..so I am just typing you a letter I suppose…If I talked to you, I would probably forget everything I wanted to tell you….
And I have now come to a conclusion:
If you have moved on, why did you come up to me at Amys party?
I was finially getting over everything….and then after that I just fell back into it again. When we talked at 24k, that night I was thinking about the past, remember those sleepovers? We stayed up hours talking about EVETYTHING. You knew everything about me, which I could never tell lily….and any of my other friends. It never seemed like they understand. It’s like they were against everything I thought but when I told you, you understood. I don’t think it’s the fact that you’ve changed. You’ve just moved on, without me. And It’s nobodies fault, I mean it’s ok. I was just missing that feeling for a bestfriend that night. And it had nothing to do with getting into a fight with Lily. It’s not like suddenly she goes and I go running back to you. I was feeling like that b4, the main reason why I couldn’t accept Lily’s apology. She has to sides (like I said b4) the bitchy side, and the fun side. The fun side was the only one I saw. You saw the bitchy side b4, and tried to tell me….and I regret not trusting you. I don’t even relize what our fight was about. It was over lily wasn’t it? It seems like she made it the downfall of my life. I’m not saying she did it on purpose…I mean it was fun while it lasted…but thing after thing from her just started pissing me off. I guess that night b4 I went to 24k I was looking through all of my stuff, my diary and all. I found this cat beani baby, remember? When you were gonna move to texas, we traded beani babies and put little notes on them. I found all these notes that said “Bets friends FOREVER!” and how we swore no matter what it would never change. I guess things do change though. When I slept over I always complained about you cold house, lol but I was missing it.
Remember a few weeks ago when I went over to your house? It felt like that bond had sort of left…of course I wasn’t being myself that day I suppose…. bad day….everything was pissing me off…..
Just to tell you, I don’t even care what my mom thinks of me anymore, I mean she’s my MOM. Who cares? I was some crazy kid…..I mean what little girl doesn’t like boys, and get a bra, and shave there legs, and start there period?!
You’ve gotten new friends, and that’s ok. But why did you ask me to be ur firend again, just to throw me away?
And no I did not right you this because I was embarrised to talk to you, it was mostly because I thought if we ever did talk again, I would forget everything I wanted to say. I do that a lot =P.

I mean, you probably don’t even like me anymore. You probably think I’m annoying, or mean because of just ditching you. And I feel so bad about that. I wish I could just take Lily out of my life. There are a lot of things that don’t make sense in this world.
This is part of growing up I guess.
Maybe when we are grownup, and on the same page you can look me up.

It’s ok if you didn’t even read it all…I suppose I understand. It was my own fault anyway, Gods given me my punishment………

But don’t get me wrong, I mean, I’m not depressed ok? I’m not gonna make myself cry everynight over this. I’ll mover on..Don’t make me guilt you into likeing me cuz that’s not right. I just wanted to sort it all out. And because I’m sick today, and extremely bored beyond reason, I wrote you this. It’s typed up and everything =]. I would even put it in an envelope if I had any….
Wow this is getting LONG.

Now remember, don’t make me guilt you!! It’s absuLUTLY NOBODIES fault!!!! It’s just growing up…Maybe you’ve changed maybe me, but theres always room in my heart for you =] And don’t think I deslike your new friends…I mean, Jenny and Sheree are really nice ok?!

Like that song Jenny sang at the talent show…
”It’s not so bad, You’re only the best I ever had”

Love you ALWAYS, Kristin.










?how was that...should I give it to her,,,>?