Shyness Can Hurt, sequel to "Story of a Lonely Pinoy" Options

[Sinigang Master]

i am the same guy who made the long topic called, "Story of a Lonely Pinoy Boy" for any of you who read that. this is the "sequel" to that.

*this story is edited from the real thing a tiny bit.

----------------------------------------
A New Year
----------------------------------------

it was January. diane finally returned from the Philippines. she was still angry at me for what i did on Christmas Eve. besides that, nothing new happened...

----------------------------------------
Forgiveness
----------------------------------------

the month of March came. she finally forgot about what i did and we could start talking normally again as friends. although, i had problems keeping a conversation alive... they just died and i couldn't think of anything to say AT ALL. nothing to talk about, nothing new.

----------------------------------------
Putting Change to the Test
----------------------------------------

i made 2 friends at school. i always sat by them at lunch and starting talking to them more. i tried seeing if i could keep a conversation alive with them. they eventually died, and we just sat there looking at the table... i was afraid this might happen when i saw diane again someday.

----------------------------------------
Jealously, Tuning Me into the Sea (hence Mr. Brightside)
----------------------------------------

it was May. a couple, paul (a guy) and nico (a girl) broke up after a year at diane's school. paul was a good friend of diane in the beginning of 7th grade, but he went out with a girl (nico) she didn't like. nico eventually turned paul against diane, by him totally ignoring her. until this month, they broke up and paul is free. however..... paul began flirting with diane. this brought a strong feeling of jealously on me. ~ one party in June (i wasnt invited), paul danced with diane a few dances, he forced her on his lap, asked her out, and he kissed her on the cheek... i felt like CRAP when i heard of this. then i heard the whole story from diane herself, for i originally heard the story from nico. she said that, she danced with him because there was no one else to dance with, that he forced her on his lap, she turned him down, and she only kissed him in the cheek back because she didn't want him to feel bad... i heard the words, "It's too late now." ~ i felt better upon hearing this, but it didn't stop him from flirting with her on later events. until now, on AIM etc. he still flirts with her...

----------------------------------------
Summer of Regret
----------------------------------------

*from my last story i talked about the last time i saw her at a dance and i completely ignored her... it was one year later now and here's what is causing my sadness, and regret.

yesterday, June 23, 2005. diane invited me over to go ice skating with her and her cousins. i was in ecstasy when i heard this. i was able to spend the whole day with them. ~ we reunited at the front of an ice skating arena. i said "heyy!" with a smile on my face, and she said, "hi!" with the same facial expression. ~ we went inside. i didn't know how to ice skate so i was kinda nervous. i attempted to put on my ice skating shoes but i screwed it up. she did it for me. so, i got on that ice and started had trouble moving. her and her cousins could do this much better than me. they got ahead of me. i finally was able to catch up to their speed but i always had to move my feet instead of gliding. i fell down numerous times, all of which she asked if i was okay, which i was. we did a train but i had trouble holding on. after ice skating, we went to her house, which i've never been to. we had lunch but i couldn't eat at all... i was somewhat, nervous. (nervousness causes ur appetite to disappear) so, i was the only one on the table not eating, and not talking. i didn't know what to say, or what to add to whatever they were talking about. i began feeling... angry at myself. afterwards we watched a dvd. ~ we all just hung around that room after the movie. everyone was talking except me. i started getting a cold feeling, and messages in my mind saying, "Come on, talk now!!! This is the real thing!!! You will regret this until the next time!!!" even with those words being said in my mind, i still couldn't come up with anything AT ALL to say.

then i had to go home. my parents arrived. i was soooooo sad, angry, and filled with so much regret. as i was exiting her house, i said these last things to her, "Bye. Goodnight...", "Sorry i was so shy the whole time." and she smiled and i left...

----------------------------------------
Upcoming Days
----------------------------------------

i woke up this morning knowing that i did the same thing i did a year ago. i barely changed from being shy. i tried so hard not to be this way over the year, but i remained the the same... i tried socializing, making more friends, but it wasn't enough... i failed, yet again making my regret feel worse. i didn't learn from my mistake which makes me feel that, seeing he only once a year seems about right... but at the same time, i'd wish i saw her everyday. yet, knowing i wouldn't be able to talk to her... i'm lost...

i feel anger toward myself.
i feel sadness from what i didn't do.
i feel regret from my failure to talk and have more fun than what we just had.
I feel fear that she may see me as always being shy.
...


they're all broken memories...

[Mr. Slowjamz]

(Isn't it obvious?)
(This is long, but It's helpful I think)

Ok first of all let's assess the situation (I don't care if you have already, I just love to watch myself type.)
Good things you did:

You didn't resort to violence

You kept your head to an extent.

You PRACTICED talking with your friends.
(Remember I said practiced)

BAD things you did:

You thought- NO THINKING!!!!!!!!(Explain later

You doubted yourself

You let your mind make up problems

You ACTED Nervous

and last but not least

YOU TOLD HER ALL OF THIS.

What you should have/ still can do:

Instead of PRACTICING to talk to people, ask your friends for help. It's not a crime of a blow to your balls you ask for help. (I'm slightly hypocritical to this but I'm trying)

Thinking= NO. This is what you do: You act within .03 seconds of a good thought.(fast) If you get an idea that might even SLIGHTLY help you, then you either act on it fast, or you'll make up reasons not to do it.
The fact that you kept thinking meant you were tense, you didn't know how to do something because you kept doing something else. Your like a computer, you can do some cool stuff, but not if your running too many things, then you just screw things up.

Acting nervous- If you don't think too much, you don't feel to bad.

Your mind mad problems up- Every little screw up you do, will turn you into a two year old whose being laughed at. That's just how we work. If you screw up, play it off as a joke, make it seem like it didn't phase you.
What you DID is, you felt like she was laughing at you everytime something happend and you freaked out. Why? BECAUSE YOU WERE THINKING!

and Last but not least:
YOU DON'T TELL HER YOU WERE SHY. BIG NO NO.
I know how you are man, I'm still somewhat in that position, but dude, you can't do this.
See, as soon as you told her this, you told her "I still really like you, but I can't handle this and I feel insecure about how I am"
What she wants to hear is something like "You know you want me, you can't handle me, and I DARE you to come and try"

Normally, I would just tell you to let her go, that it was too late. But, I'm going to do WHAT I CAN to help you out here.

WHAT YOU DO:

1.If you start talking to her everyday, DON'T. Talk to her about maybe 2-3times a week if you can.
You can up this up later on, but this will make you seem like you DO have a life, and you may not have time with her. (Not saying you don't have a life, but you have time if you talk to her everyday. IF!)

2.ASK FOR HELP FROM FRIENDS
If you have connections with some good people, they can teach you how to talk.

3.DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T X 10000 THINK!
If you don't think as much, you can't make excuses and problems up in your head.

4. Don't act like things are a big deal.
If you see her don't be like "ZOMG I LIEK LUV JOO!!!" (not exactly that bad, just an expression) You be like "Oh, hey, you again?" BE RELAXED and LAID BACK.
If she asks you to go somewhere, I'm not saying DON'T GO, I'm saying don't let it be a BIG DEAL. If you and her are alone and you don't know what to say, then here are 3 options i suggest:

1. Say something random

2. Touch her in some way(Poke, play hit, not that way sicko)

3. Tease her about something
Why do I say this? Because:
1.If your random, it means you weren't thinking about what to say and she'll see that and you MIGHT start a convo.

2.IF you touch her(playfully) It gives you 2 advantages,
A. It says your confortable around her and not so tense
B. She might say "What was that for?" and you say"O c'mon, is that all you can say? I actually came in contact with you, and I didn't melt, I guess you bathed then?" And she might hit you for this, but be PLAYFUL. If she hits you it means she liked it and is flirting back to you. IF SHE SLAPS YOU and is pissed, then you didn't make it seem like a joke.

3. If you tease her(Like the above) then she'll see almost everything. She'll see your conortable, that she doesn't have power over you, that your strong, and that you aren't intimidated by her.

And the biggest thing

BE FUNNY, BUT COCKY

The whole point is to make her feel good, make her feel confortable. If she knows your shy and intimidated by her, then she'll be like "Aww man here he comes again"

If you are funny and act like you have an ego (not a big ego but an ego) then she'll be like "Wow, he's funny, confortable with himself, and I DON'T HAVE POWER ANYMORE..." and she'll keep thinking about you, and how she doesn't have "that effect" she'll hang out more and she'll eventually be attracted to you.

I suggest you watch some comedy movies (not stand up comedy) and some James bond movies. James bond will teach you how to show your power, and Comedy will help you feel confortable and how to make people laugh.

(Guys, this is just my advice, you can take it or leave it, but NONE of what I have said is 100% .)

oooo props props props props props .....but sorry mann...im wayyyy past that junction.