A single rose..., Goodbye |
 Jul 16 2005, 09:22 PM
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you!  Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674  |
A Painful Wedding Gift
A single rose I held above, Against the ebony sky, I thought this really was true love, But this was for goodbye, I held it still, its petals clear, With the moon's so haunting glow, The hue, a crimson to match the tear, Inviting more to flow, I want to brush it all aside, And continue on my way, But now I'll never be the bride, I were to be today, The petals now blow in the breeze, The wind is oh so swift, An empty stem hovered over me, This was my wedding gift, Though this I hold I'll forever keep, The last of my last lover's charm, The thorns are digging oh so deep, And the pain trickles down my arm... |
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Jul 17 2005, 12:05 AM
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#2
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 512 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 9,682 |
aww, really cute&sad, and the flow is smooth . although ...
QUOTE The last of my last lover's charm, i personally think using 2 ''last''s in one line isnt a good idea, because it sounds too repetitive . |
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Posts in this topic
Paradox of Life A single rose... Jul 16 2005, 09:22 PM
RockizLife Awesome poem, Katt! Keep up the good work, I l... Jul 16 2005, 09:43 PM Midnight Faerie Mehehe I remember when you were like asking me for... Jul 16 2005, 10:24 PM stephinika very nicely written...i like the idea too. keep it... Jul 16 2005, 10:56 PM
Paradox of Life QUOTE(lidoxangie @ Jul 16 2005, 11:05 PM)aww,... Jul 17 2005, 03:40 AM LEGITERICJONES Very nice flow, the last verse was a very nice con... Jul 17 2005, 05:50 PM xXMomoBubbleTeaXx I loved the vibe it gave to me!!..Mysterio... Jul 19 2005, 05:42 PM _suzie_ aw i like it. emotional Jul 21 2005, 11:21 AM ..:loveee.NuTTii You expressed yourself so amazingly. I fell in lo... Jul 21 2005, 04:29 PM yukichan I like it..Its very sad..and has a lot of emotions... Jul 21 2005, 05:58 PM |
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