an introduction to the emo species Options

[*not_your_average*]

An Introduction to the Emo Species
By: Radhika Raman

As I scroll the Featured Content, I find not quality blogs with witty banter and thoughtful observations, but American middle to upper-class teens who act like everything is wrong with their lives. These are the doldrums of the Xanga community. These are the emo kids. "Emo" is short for "emotional" and is actually a form of music that evolved from the punk trend in the 80s. This music has a "punk" sound, but the lyrics are filled with depressing choruses of heartbreak, loss and life's troubles.

Their blogs are filled with declarations of perpetual sadness and melancholy. They are also filled with blogrings proclaiming that they they should be shot because they are "electrikk" or that Conor Oberst is "hawt sex." When some think of sex, they think of what is used for the tender process of procreation. However, research has not yet concluded on the "electrikk" trend.

I also manage to find this species of middle-class teenager loves to fill their blog with hundreds of blurry, poorly-taken pictures of themselves chewing on their oily, unkempt hair. This behavior has taken form with other, different species of teens, and is now reffered to as "cam-whoring" by the ever-changing internet community.

There are few but significant differences in the males and females. Males love to wear tight pants that naturally show off their small but significant penises. They are often thin and sickly frail. Some of them also have a tendency to kiss other males on the lips. This can be analyzed as a strange mating call to attract other females.

The females are much harder to document, however. Their hair is longer and usually less messy than their male counterparts', and they are unusually less emotional than the males. They are also most likely to show the aforementioned "cam-whoring" behaviors.

As you can see, this growing and evolving "emo" community never ceases to fascinate the average human mind. We will document more next time, featuring the inside world of the emo.
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the xanga on which this is posted

[*stephinika*]

haha that was awesome. i quite liked it.