First Date Flirting |
 Jul 5 2005, 10:21 PM
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#1
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 The Lost Dreamer  Group: Member Posts: 67 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 166,502  |
First I must explain that this poem was written to be read by 3 seperate people. The narrator, a woman, and a man. There are also parts where the man and woman read together at the same time.
"First Date Flirting" Anxious sweating from their bodies. Flattery with the bashful compliments. The embarrassing truths unembelleshed. Silhoettes of the past revealed with common endings. Simple beginnings with difficult ties. Shared smiles of heartwarming ambitions. Common interests and respected differences. Nervousness shattering these spoken words. Affection glistens in their eyes as they gaze into each other. Hearts become heavey and knots grow in throats. Cautious leading to each next step. Hope time is enjoyed to do this again. Does he think I'm beautiful? Does she think I'm handsome? Furiously thoughts cloud the mind. Does she like me? Does he like me? Fluttering hands aching to grasp. Simplified laughter, calm and soothing. Heartbeats becoming harmonious. Flying time gone by with a flutter. And starts the longest drive home. Consumed again with thoughts. Did i make a mistake? Did i go too fast? Did i go too slow? Does he/she see my flaws? I hope he enjoyed tonight. I hope she enjoyed tonight. Desire approaches to repeat these events. Shaking words as they part ways. With a number in each hand, and ambitions to do this again. I want to see him again. I want to see her again. |
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Jul 7 2005, 12:06 AM
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#2
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The Lost Dreamer Group: Member Posts: 67 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 166,502 |
How so?
Is that why I have not received any replies? |
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Jul 9 2005, 01:19 AM
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#3
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 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
QUOTE(Musouka @ Jul 7 2005, 12:06 AM) How so? Is that why I have not received any replies?  ^The writing section in CB doesn't get many replies, so don't take it personal. The average is about 3 replies to each poem. And sometimes there are times when there are 0 replies, and that can be normal too.. But as for your poem I think you did a great job :) Very unique on capturing feelings from 3 different perspectives. My favorite part was this, "Fluttering hands aching to grasp. Simplified laughter, calm and soothing. Heartbeats becoming harmonious" I just thought it was a wonderful choice of words :) You did an excellent job on the whole poem :) Really you did. Keep posting on here :) I very much like your style of writing |
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Posts in this topic
Musouka First Date Flirting Jul 5 2005, 10:21 PM
`SWTWiNKLE3YES it doesnt seem like a poem to me..? Jul 6 2005, 05:38 PM
[Deep]Thought63 QUOTE(Musouka @ Jul 7 2005, 12:06 AM)How so?
... Jul 9 2005, 01:14 AM
one_and_only its nice. Jul 7 2005, 08:14 PM |
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