Abusive Boyfriends Options

[iheartjohn]

Okay, I have this older boyfriend who's in the military (he's about 6'3, musuclar) and lately he's been getting really violent. He'll have these odd anger outbursts and recently, we got into a huge fight and he pushed me down a flight of stairs. I broke my arm.

He's had a past of violent behavior when he was 16 or 17 (he's in his early 20s now) and he's taking it out on me.

This is my longest relationship ever (about 3 years) and I think I love him. Atleast I thought I did. I really don't want to end it, but my parents are getting suspicious of my injuries. I managed to tell them that I tripped down the stairs in my highschool.

But when he punched me in my face, I had a bruise on my cheek, my parents didn't believe me when I insisted I got hit with a soccer ball during PE.

But he says he loves me and he gets so upset after all the fighting stops. I'm just really confused.

So what do I do? I really don't want to end it, but I feel that I have no choice...

[CloudNine]

Okay. First off I've been in a similar situation and my closest friend is in one now.

The most dangerous part of a abusive relationship is when you leave. He thinks that if he can't have you then nobody will. You need to get your stuff and leave when he's not there- go to a friend's or family member's house or go to a shelter for abused women.

Every abusive relationship is a vicious cycle- you get into a fight and are hurt, he apologizes and tells you how sorry he is, he kisses up to you, tension once again builds, it keeps building, until another fight happens. This cycle gets worse and worse.

My best friend was sent to the hospital last year when her abusive boyfriend Jared punched her in the face, leaving a scar above right eye where his ring had hit her. He has punched her, kicked her, and thrown her down. My other friend and I have tried to protect her as much as possible, I've even yelled at Jared (I'm not afraid of any man lol.) He is a complete control freak to the point where it's okay for him to hang out with his friends but it's not okay for her to spend the night at a friend's house. He reads any of her letters, questions her, etc. This is a abusive boyfriend.

Abuse comes in two forms- physically and mentally. Both are never the fault of the woman being abused. It's very difficult to leave because you truly do feel you love him but let me say this- No man should ever make you cry, hurt you, and abuse who you are. Most girls in a abusive relationships have low self esteem so they feel they need to be with that person but trust me when I say it'll only get worse.

My sister was abused and he would rip the phone cords out of the wall so she couldn't call for police, he would beat her in front of their child, etc. And another thing, if he abuses you over stupid things, can you imagine what he would do to your kid when he/she keeps nagging or bugging him? Abuse is almost always learned through your parents- the boys take after their father. It's a horrible cycle.

Just get away from him, no matter what your brain keeps telling you. If it was real love, then you wouldn't question it.