Phantoms and Animal Cracker Dreams..., and ode to my beloved Robin. Options

[*islandgirl4eva*]

As I sit on the floor with a box of animal crackers before me, I look up to see a brilliant smile touching his gentle, hazel eyes. He ruffles my hair with his hands giving me the usual, "Silly kid," that he does when I play with my food. His hair is parted in a way that falls in his face, covering one eye. I'm enchanted by the way his lip ring shines when he turns his head to the side, and I marvel at how huge the plugs in his ears are. We were polar opposites, yet we were just alike. We were the epitome of the odd couple, and I loved that about us.

He had always been there for me. Through thick and thin. The friend to give me his jacket when it was cold, or the friend who'd hold a girly umbrella over my head when it was raining. I could always count on him to greet me with a smile, even when the shittiness of my day left me bitchy and cold.

He never asked for anything in return. It kills me to remember how selfless he was. He always put my needs before his own. He listened to me cry and break down as my world fell apart, and he would be there to put the pieces of my life back together. It's sad that in all my memories of him, he was always taking care of me. He never let me try to take care of him.

After I broke up with the biggest love of my life I'd find him at lunch, tears burgeoning in my eyes, and sniffling like a broken child. He would wave me over, and in front of all his tough-guy, gothic friends, he would cradle me in his lap as I hung over him like a rag doll, whining and sobbing about how betrayed I was. He would comfort me and hold me while his friends stared in confusion and disbelief. He was the force that which I abandoned myself to.

And as the days pass I begin to hate myself more and more for being so selfish. He was there to keep me whole...keep me alive, and I wasn't there for him when he needed me most. How could I not see the signs? How could I not save him?

That afternoon was absolutely lovely. I walked to his house thinking of how wonderful it would be to go walking with him down to the beach. He had stayed home from school sick that day.The salty sea air would do him good. I didn't even have to knock on the door, his mom already knew that I was coming with his homework. As I passed the kitchen I saw his mother and gave her a hug. She told me she hadn't seen him all afternoon and thought that he was sleeping. I just laughed it off, knowing that he slept like a rock.

Opening the door I found an empty bed. I turned to scan the room when I saw it. I dropped to my knees in disbelief. My beautiful dark angel, slumped over with a makeshift noose around his neck, eyes wide open and staring into my soul. The room began to spin as I screamed with every fiber of my being. The boy that had saved me was gone forever.

That vision is perpetually burned into my mind as I look into his gentle eyes. Reaching forward to caress his olive skin one last time he vanishes. A phantom of a lovely dream.

You were beautiful Robin. I want you to know, I still think about you. Wherever you may be, I know we'll meet again. Te amo mi amor.

[LoST SouL]

oh my god im crying oh my god its so ... words cannot describe it ... it's very well written