Depression Options

[demolished]

how do i know for sure i'm depressed before i wasnt sure that i was depressed?
i took the quiz .. and i'm pretty sure its true ..

http://health.yahoo.com/ency/healthwise/ca...pup/calc010-sec

INTRODUCTION:
i'm ambitious, serious, always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses, productive, creative, intelligent, neat, organized, sensitive, has deep thoughts,
quiet unless excited or tensed, rather reserved, highly attentive, resistant to illnesses but prone to colds, homely person, loyal and needs to improve
social abilities

Part I

i feel depressed all the times (feel depressed every hour)

Espeically when i'm dreaming, i always seem to be fighting
and struggling for some reason.

Sometime i shake my body (i shake my leg more often)
i dont know how i get it. ( it was automatically)
no one touched me, it just me.

When i think about something (while i'm about to sleep) i also struggle and shaked.


Part II
i dont feel anything that great about myself, i dont do anything much
(i usually go on computer, do homework, and do art)
Art is the only thing i expressed my throughts and emotions, nothing else.
i never express about myself to anyone including my friends
(i dont trust them, i lost interested seeking friends but i'm trying my best to find .. )
i dislike my friends for who they are .. most of them are recent fobs ( not to offend anyone). Thy are so loudsy and immature. they cannot shut the f**k up, they provoke me, mess w/ me, talk shit about me, exagerated about my problems to the teacher, lied to people about who i am, they think of me as a monster .. and they always pissed me off. ( they are good people but they treat me like shit) i use to have a okay friend who was normal before he hits puberty .. now he is just the same as everyone else( he is a dumb f**k shit who is so careless and a wannabe .. he blames people when its his fault. also he is such a loner.)

Part III
i have very low social skills and low self-esteem. i cant seem to find any good friends. ( i know friends seek for interesting friends .. i'm boring .. )




also, i have pretty good friends but i have no connection, i dont feel right to be w/ them cus i dont belong to them ..

i have been depress since summer 2004, i started to stay away from my friends and it gotten worse .. not that worse ..

what should i do .. ?

EDIT //

Part IV.

At the begining of early September (i was a 7th grader) i found a very good friend in my room because he was the only good ones i can find. ( the rest of them are stupid .. and the some of them i dont know cus its 7th/8th grade class. it was wierd.) We interact alot about random things. (lol) We would stay afterschool at the bench to do homework and stuff. ( i'm smarter than him ) i always help him alot and i tell him about myself a bit. he started to admire me because i was very talented, artistic, good at using bad words, guts to say something in someone's face, and etc. I wasnt depressed, ( i was normal ) All of the sudden, something changes between us. When i asked him to meet at the bench, he said "no" because he wanted to stay in class w/ the teacher. i annoy the hell out of him but he never want to stay there. He became a wannabe of me. he acts like me and he have the same interest as me. i start to hate him and wanted to talk shit to his face but i couldnt cus he was the only one i can rely on .. so i dont want him to think that i betray or something like that .. ( whatever ) .. he took every chances i have .. i even try to make a friend but that wannabe dude took my chances to know him and etc .. he was my close friend but the wannabe dude shatter it tons of pieces and i have to pick it back .. but it was already late. school was nearly over, i started to feeel a bit depressed.

every chances i have, that wannabe dude left me hopeless .. so i wasted a year in that class. i didnt made much contact w/ my old friends. i know they are having an awesome year making new friends while my chances are being taken away ..

Now, he is just a jackass piece of shit. he always want to compete w/ me and he even thinks he is better than me because * he have everything on me * ( not realli, he is stupid ) ... he even wrote an topic for his essay about " competing against me to see who is the smartest " gawd, i hate that. what kind of friend is he. he is just pain in the @$$. .


i think i provided ennough info... i dunno.

by the way, that happen long ago since i was a 7th grader. i'm entering 9th grade as a freshmen after summer.

[*freshxsmiles*]

Aww this is so Sad [emotionally]. Okay well, hopefully Me and everyone can help you. You should live life..not looking at it negatively but postively. Try to avoid the many stresses that bring to your life. Just whenever there's a stressful situation that hurts you inside, just avoid it and keep calm and relaxed..don't think to much about it, because it'll get stuck you head..and probably you get those dreams..so yeah. Also, You should try walking, it releases stress haha, just free your mind of everything, and your intrest in art is a very good thing, because like you said, it helps express what you are feeling inside..and your decision..not forcing you to..but you might want to share your art with people!!(just a suggestion haha). However, when you said you lack social skills, yea that's kind of rough.. Always try to introduce yourself to people. The best way is to be active in school, like many people said before, join a sport [if you are athletic], join a club, i bet your school has soo much to offer many people a wide range that fits there intrests and personality. Those are the best ways to meet new people and Make new Trusting friends. Also, your friends that you talked about, in the first place they were NEVER you friends if they put you down like that, lower your self-esteem, puting stress and drama into your life that you don't need and the fact that they won't even try to listen maturly to what you feel and say. But you know, keep your head up, just don't act like its the end of the world..theres so much out there..when you feel like giving up on life..don't..keep on going. You might not think this..but the people that replied to you CARE a lot for you..try to help you.. You have the whole cB community to befriend..and are waiting to be your friend like ME! hahaha So if you want to talk, just AIM me/email me/PM me..w/e. Your an awesome and artisitic person..even though i don't know you well enough..but it just seems that way . So JUST KEEP SMILING.. and yep haha.