i have a friend who criticizes, everything Options

[yupimchuck]

Hm. So yeah. I have this friend.. Ill call her Jane.
Weve been friends since about 4th grade.
And recently.. Im really not sure why, shes been riticizing everything i do or have.
like.. today. when she was over.. she was talking and out of nowhere she goes
"i dont like your lipring its too big its annoying and i hate it change it"
just over and over.
or shell be like "you need to straighten your hair"
"i dont like that color eyeshadow on you"
"i dont like your haircolor"

on and on and on.
about little things.
and its really getting to me. because this just started a few months ago,
and i really dont know why shes doing it.
is it jealousy or does she not notice shes doing it?

i dont know. please help :/

[yupimchuck]

I really want to just let her have it.
&almost go off on her.

but im not that kind of person.
and this is dumb. but shes the clostest thing ive got to a friend so i dont want to ruin that :/

[Spirited Away]

,Jun 10 2005, 8:24 PM]but shes the clostest thing ive got to a friend so i dont want to ruin that :/

You don't want to ruin that? What IS "that"? Are you "that" is a friend?

To tell you the truth, what you've described is not friendship. If you want to know what friends are like, meet new people. The person who you think is your friend is rather unfriendly with you.

Maybe her criticism is a way to make her feel better about herself. I know a few people who are like that actually. It also means that such people are insecure about themselves in some way. You may feel sorry for them, but you don't have to take their unfounded criticism because you'll be hurting yourself.

You don't have to say anything to her nor do you have to say anything that will make a full blown argument. If she doesn't like your eye shadow, say that you do. If she says she doesn't like your lipring, say that you do. She doesn't like your hair color? You do right? So, tell her. You don't have to get angry because she doesn't like what you like, just tell her. If she is your true friend, she'll get used to it.

But you know, the case could also be that the things you wear doesn't suit you and she just want to be honest with you. You wouldn't want to hurt your friend's feelings when she's only honest with you. Don't disagree or argue with her, just say that you 'feel' like doing it and laugh about it. If she's your friend, she'll laugh it off with you.

Whatever the situation with this person though, don't let her walk all over you.