My daughter... Options

[iheartjohn]

As some of you may know, I have a 4 yr old daughter (Geena, look at sig for pictures) and if you read this post I made a while ago you already know about my ex boyfriend, Tom.

I couldn't really get advice from my friends, because they got really weird on the subject and weren't much help, but I figured since you guys don't really know me, it'd be easier for you to say what you think.

I followed your responses about my problem with Tom (I left him), and ever since then, now he wants to see his daughter, Geena. I'm really scared to see him again, because every time we do talk it turns into an arguement and I end up crying and Tom manages to revert back to his old self and he hits me.

A week ago, Geena asked me "Why does Daddy hurt you?" and I really didn't know what to say.

I don't want Geena to see this stuff, especially at such a young age, but last night Tom and I got into a fight on the phone, and he thinks he should see his daughter. (BTW he's 24).

Of course I don't trust him and Geena alone, I'm afraid he'll hurt her, but I don't want to see Tom again.

Do you think he has a right to see his daughter? I mean, he did pay for a lot of her necessities when I was pregnant and when she was just born...

Sorry if this is too long. I just wanted an opinion/some advice.

EDIT // I didn't think this should be in relationships, since it's about Geena's sake.

[JustAnotherTeena...]

Ok, listen up now. I've gone through almost the EXACT same thing that you are. But here's a twist: I was the daughter. My dad used to hit my mom, so she left him just before I was born(she was scared that he would hurt me too). I grew up without a father. It was hard at some points..it's confusing when you're young, you have difficult quetions like-"All of my friends have dads...do I have one too? Where is he??" But in the longrun, it's the best decision my mom ever made by leaving him. I still grew up a normal, perfectly happy child. Actually, it made me better. I respect things more, take less for granted, I do better in school, etc. So it may be hard at first, but your daughter WILL be okay growing up without a father. And my dad used to try to see me too. I've never actually seen/heard him, but I heard my mom arguing on the phone with him a couple times when I was little. But she was smart...never gave into him.

Seriously, if the guy beat/raped you, do you really want him around your child? Do you want your adorable little girl to be near a rapist? He could hurt her..or even worse- kidnapping is a possibility too. It's a harsh reality, but it must be faced. You need to get (if you don't already) full custody of her. Don't let your kid near him, the outcome will most likely not be good. Do the thing you think is best for the safety of both you and your little girl.

Good luck, and God bless. I'll be praying for you.

--Tori