11 Years Old |
 Apr 28 2005, 03:27 PM
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#1
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 Residential Crazy Child  Group: Member Posts: 934 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 116,897  |
It's my first time postin here....I'm nervous.
Anyway, it's this thing I wrote for one of my English homeworks and everyone liked it: 11 years old Standing by the grave side Watching everyone cry my flower away Mines didn't even make it to the bottom Before they started filling up the grave I don't really think about it much now But it still hurts when I see her face And I was just 11 I went numb for some time Afraid to heal, trying not to heal It all just seemed too surreal She was gone so I started acting dark I snapped at my friends and cursed them all One gets pissed, calls me a poser, and breaks away Now we just don't talk at all But then I was just 11 What hurt the most was noone told me Daddy withdrew and mommy cried And I got all dressed up that day Trying to impress her Only she wasn't there to see Eyes closed, hands clasped How could she go so peacefully Knowing she left me behind Now I'm not 11 And now I finally see 
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May 6 2005, 11:26 AM
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#2
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 Bardic Nation Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 |
by putting it in here they ask for criticism. or maybe i miss the point of the reply button.
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Posts in this topic
..:loveee.NuTTii 11 Years Old Apr 28 2005, 03:27 PM
x3__iGiVEup wow; i love it; emotional. . Apr 28 2005, 03:50 PM sadolakced acid wow. very good.
not really sure who died, but t... Apr 28 2005, 09:35 PM DaToNeViEtBoI916 i think the rhyming was done purposely to get the ... Apr 28 2005, 10:07 PM KissMe2408 wow, im very impressed. I think you did an excelle... Apr 28 2005, 11:55 PM yukichan wow that was really emotional..i really like it.. Apr 29 2005, 02:35 AM ..:loveee.NuTTii Thankyou for all your comments-you've made me ... Apr 29 2005, 07:44 AM Paradox of Life I really like it. I think that you should change t... Apr 29 2005, 02:59 PM racoons > you i think its wonderful. the ending is the best part... Apr 29 2005, 03:58 PM Gypsy Eyes that just made me cry.
i love it. Apr 29 2005, 04:23 PM xSWEETxCANDiix I loved it. It was so moving. Great job. Apr 29 2005, 09:52 PM nightmare4taki How Touching. Nice Job Apr 29 2005, 09:55 PM sikdragon I might of missed something, did you accidentally ... Apr 29 2005, 11:21 PM sadolakced acid ^ not to be mean, but what the heck are you talki... Apr 30 2005, 12:01 AM racoons > you QUOTE*im talking about guys not faggots and effemi... Apr 30 2005, 06:52 AM sikdragon In a nutshell for you geniuses, if the poet wanted... Apr 30 2005, 07:34 AM iNyCxShoRT Very descriptive, and emotional *thumbs up* Apr 30 2005, 11:15 AM ..:loveee.NuTTii QUOTEIn a nutshell for you geniuses, if the poet w... Apr 30 2005, 03:12 PM `SWTWiNKLE3YES its very good. but wait .. my english teacher said... Apr 30 2005, 05:28 PM xcaitlinx who died? tell us tell us. Apr 30 2005, 07:52 PM Paradox of Life QUOTE(sikdragon @ Apr 29 2005, 10:21 PM)Cryin... May 1 2005, 09:59 AM islandgirl4eva Ugh, I'm so late, but I HAD to comment.
That ... May 1 2005, 10:09 AM toodlepops. It was beautiful.
Really beautiful.
Sorry bout you... May 1 2005, 10:07 PM DaToNeViEtBoI916 i've come to the conclusion that "sikdrag... May 1 2005, 11:57 PM
lidoxangie ------ May 2 2005, 01:08 AM sikdragon QUOTEUm, your whole post made absolutely no sense ... May 2 2005, 02:17 AM lidoxangie ------ May 2 2005, 02:21 AM sikdragon you're funny. May 2 2005, 02:52 AM Spirited Away Hey dudes/dudettes, lets quit it now, okay? May 2 2005, 12:22 PM mona lisa Poetry does not usually need criticism, unless the... May 5 2005, 07:03 PM ..:loveee.NuTTii QUOTEHey dudes/dudettes, lets quit it now, okay?
Y... May 9 2005, 06:25 PM chaneun That made me sad, good job. May 9 2005, 06:45 PM ApocalypseAelis AkaRyux wtf did you take my signature for?! I... May 9 2005, 09:39 PM ChasingLife87 oh my god, I love that. My best friend died when I... May 9 2005, 10:17 PM racoons > you QUOTEwhat did my post have to do with the poem? no... May 11 2005, 03:04 PM sikdragon and you're all of a sudden the expert on what ... May 11 2005, 04:17 PM racoons > you do you write peotry, out of interest? May 11 2005, 04:33 PM xxpimpjuice1227x some how i get it.. it sad.. May 13 2005, 02:04 AM sikdragon i write poetry out of many things. May 13 2005, 03:36 PM iixSOOJINx oh wow. that was very good and very sad. May 15 2005, 04:45 PM |
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