98 Memory Lane..., I need to know... Options

[J-sin]

It was about 8 years ago. Me and Harold, were the best of buddies, and were in grade 4. There was nothing neither me or Harold wouldn't do for each other. We were practically...brothers. I looked up to him in every way. Ever since then, I admired him for his talent in sports, for his generosity, but most of all, for the times he's stood beside me. It was great then...He really was, the brother I never had.

One particular Tuesday morning, a beautiful morning...our homeroom teacher walks through the classroom door...followed by a newcomer: a Taiwanese girl. She was later introduced to our class as, Michelle. I observed her from my seat. Wearing glasses and trying her hair up, she looked no different from other girls I'd seen. As for my friend Harold, (my BEST friend Harld) I guess it was love at first sight. Within two weeks, he was starting to act strange. Started writing poems (which he was never good at), and singing crazy and cheesy love songs in class. His grades fell dramatically. But then, there were times when I felt sorry for the poor fool. No one knew his secret. No one saw his pain, but me. I presurred him to propose. But for some reason (some stupid reason), he wouldn't. He just kept telling me that a beautiful girl would never like a loser like him.

Somehow, a year passed by and things remained unchanged. And somehow, word about Harold's major crush got out, and eventually, Michelled ended up hearing everything. That when things took a turn for the worst for my buddie. She moved ever more distant when she heard the rumor. And absolutely no one could do anything to change her mind, change her attitude, change her feelings...about my buddie. I had to do something...

While Harold was crushed, I started calling her up everynight. I myself had not much luck the first few weeks. But eventually, she came around...and later, she was looking forward to my calls. I had become her first real friend in a new school. Michelle trusted me, respected me and mostly believed what I told her. That was what I needed for my buddie. As soon as I got her trust, I started selling Harold's good qualities, telling her what a great guy he is, how popular he is and etc. I pressured her. Teased her with Harold in class. Well, even the hardest of rocks will be eventually worn away by the waves...bit by bit. Great news for my buddie: she started showing interest in him. I jumped with joy. Knowing that it was the perfect time to propose, I urged him once more. But again, he refuse to listen to me. That was just.....DUMB!!! I had done everything I could for him. I showed him the door. It was up to him to walk through it. But...he foolishly didn't.
I couldn't do anything. He was just...ignorant...

Well, as years flew by, the friendship I had with Michelle took off....while the one with Harold degraded. He drifted further and further away. I tried my best to relive the old days but he wouldn't open up to me anymore. He wouldn't tell me why and I couldn't figure it out. I was still trying my best to help him with Michelle......until......

...nature's inevitability took its course. Unintentionally, I myself had fallen for Michelle. I began to notice myself finding reasons on how and why my love for Michelle was stronger than Harold's. I strongly believed that I loved her for the right reasons: the way she cheered me up, the way she gave me strength, the way she makes everything seem possible, for who she is....etc. It was never because of exterior looks (although she was beautiful on the outside too) It was a great new feeling. A feeling...I sure my buddie Harold had not experienced eventhough he was "in love" with Michelle.

So what did I decide to do? Never to betray my best friend...my bro...Harold! That's what I decided! I hid in my own shadows. I appeared to be perfectly happy but in fact, I was in the deepest of emotional pains. I loved her, and there was nothing I could do. Couldn't tell anybody either since they would end up thinking I betrayed Harold.

In the last year of High School, my classmates began to notice my deepest darkest secrets. Who wouldn't notice when I did everything I could for her? I showed how much I cared...maybe too much. But it was definately more than Harold. People started gossiping. My greatest fear came to surface: everyone accused me of betraying Harold's trust. Full of hatred, Harold never talked to me like a friend again. Everytime our eyes met, I could see a certain empitness. Maybe this empitness was caused by the trust he's lost from me. My classmates, my OWN goddamn classmates...who I've known for 8 years started talking shit about me. They all felt sorry for Harold and supported him 100% since they knew how long he's liked her. But does time has anything to do with love? Do you measure how much you truly love a person by comparing with...time?


So, the main thing I want to ask is...did I really betray Harold? Am I the guilty one here? What would you guys have done in my place?

[Shattered_Hope]

I don't think you betrayed Harold. You tried to help him but he wouldn't take the chance he was offered. So, after a while, it was natural that you would eventually fall for her. It's not like you chose to fall for her....but anyways, you could've asked her out too....but you kept your friend in mind.