Wandering, spirits, eyes souless and cold Options

[Paradox of Life]

Wandering
The fog is dense,
Gravestones scattered,
Old and broken,
Chipped and battered,
A breeze across my ankles,
Sent the lost spirits sad and haunting,
Their eyes souless and cold,
This life they're always wanting,
While melancholy's all they hold,
Forever deep within,
Where once there was a heart, a soul,
Of which they can't retrieve again.

I don't think I did a particularly good job on this one, but I decided to put it up anyway. Critique and comments appreciated.

[sikdragon]

^There is no CORRECT way to write poetry. You can leave it however you want it. This is not a story, it is a poem. This is where she choose to end, if she wanted to start a story/continue it she would. Stop trying to sound like you know what the hell you are talking about.

i've met no one who celebrates mediocrity the way that you guys do. Every singly poem can be better. There's no oh well this is good enough. What if every thing was like that? a doctor gets half way through an amputation, "oh well that's good." and leaves it to get infected. what if the US army decided to just decided to pull back and bring their troops home in the middle of a big confrontation in WW2? we could be living in the united empire of germany. I just gave something to build on. it's not a story, true. Everything still has a plot of some sort even if it is just to the writer. sometimes more of that plot needs to be revealed to give the reader a little more insight, so they can better empathize with the writer. note i said sometimes, all i did with my post was make what could be, more apparent. You dont have to question my authority, why because i have none. I know nothing. However. if i can help someone else hone their skill or make them better in even the tiniest fraction of a way, then that would make my life worth living.

"Poetry is the grandest of the fine arts, easiest to dabble in and hardest to master."

[akjsd]

------